Daily Archives: Aug. 15th, 08

Hard out here for a chimp*

Here’s some Friday LOLz for that ass.

I don’t even know what to say to lead in to this so I’ll just be plain:
A chimp is getting head from a toad.
mouth fucking a toad.

using a toad as a masturbation device. AHHHHH! I don’t know!

I wish I could embed it here but you’ll have to do your own mousework and click HERE to view.

For the record, I can totally see why that child is crying. Those Europeans are so open-minded though, to let their kid witness such a spectacle! Heathens.

*credit goes to IkeMoses for such an apropos sentiment.

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Filed under Routine Ramblings

I’ll just date my bus pass then.

I think I might have missed an opportunity.

See, I’ve been chatting it up with folks about how I haven’t been on a date in quite some time. I know the word date can mean a lot of things, so specifically I’m talking about the kind where you meet someone virtually unknown to you, someone decides they would like to get to know the other more and asks that person out to do some kind of activity. They talk and flirt, hopefully laugh and smile. Then go home and either chalk it up as another dating disaster or as a nice night out that they wouldn’t mind repeating again.

I’m not really out looking for someone to date. I just realized that I’ve been out of that loop for a little while. I guess it’s because I don’t meet people who I want to ask out (I have no problem asking someone out) and/or the folks who ask me out are not appealing to me at all. Besides, until you’ve made an agreement with someone to stop seeing other people you’re totally free to date, right? Hell, you better!

Today, though, I think I may have dropped the ball. I was waiting at the bus stop so I could meet a friend and head to a dance recital (blog on that to come soon). So I kind of had a schedule to keep. As I’m waiting for the bus, a car drives by, doubles back and stops in the middle of the street. Dude is on his cell phone leans out the window with a smile to say, “Are you waiting for me?”
Me: *looks around to see who he’s talking to. Realizes it’s me* “Uh, no.”
Him: “What’s your name”
Me: *contemplates ignoring him* “_(insert name here)_”
Him: “I’m Quan.”
Me: *Nods. Smiles just enough to be polite.*
Him: “Nice to meet you, _____.”
Me: *Gestures to big ass bus behind his car* “Yeah, same.”
Him: *Smiles. Drives off*

Ok. First let me say that yes, the guy was attractive. So why wasn’t I nicer? Attractive dude, interested… what’s the problem? Well you know I’m going to tell you!

  1. First thing out of his mouth was “Are you waiting for me?” Negro, you are so corny. I’m waiting for the BUS. Just say hello. Has HELLO gone out of style?
  2. Dude couldn’t even pull the phone from his ear while he was yelling at me from the street. Pull over or something. I hate people who block traffic to holler. Put the phone down. Are you talking to me or the person on the other line?
  3. I felt like I had some bus rider’s integrity to uphold. Just because you roll up to my bus pass holding ass (look, my car is still on injured reserve, okay) in your Beemer SUV guzzling all the gas your heart/engine desires doesn’t mean I gotta swoon. It’s the principle of the thing.
  4. The bus was coming. Maybe if I didn’t have to be somewhere and the bus wasn’t right there I would have entertained more of his chatter.

On second thought, I didn’t miss much at all.
Ah well. He was probably stupid anyway.

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Filed under Routine Ramblings