ON: Picnics, Parties and Cookouts/BBQs
Listen up. If you’re invited to a picnic or party and you are asked to bring something, please do. Also, remember it is important to bring something that is in proportion to what you intend to gain from the event. For example, don’t show up to a huge cookout with a single solitary six-pack of beer when you’ll probably guzzle 12 AND eat!
Another important lesson about picnics, parties and cookouts is that once you do bring something, you gotta leave it. YOU HAVE TO. No, it doesn’t matter if you brought a bag of chips and it never got opened. That shit goes to the house. You leave it there for the person who threw the get-together in the first place. More than likely, they’ll have so many leftovers that they’ll be forced to have another, albeit smaller, function to which you’ll be invited (if you follow my rules).
I used to date a guy who was notorious for leaving with shit he brought to the party. Hell, he’d even leave with shit he DIDN’T bring. So embarrassing.
Finally, if you arrive to one of these functions early, you have silently assented to helping with the set-up. Go get ice. Move chairs. Put out napkins. Something.
Now, go forth in the world and be proper.
Please feel free to add on…