Dress Barn

Honestly. Who shops there? WHO would purchase clothing from a BARN? Truly, I do not know what they sell in there nowadays. I haven’t set foot in the store in ages. The name itself, however, makes me think they specialize in Moo-Moos, big flowery shirts, embroidered sweaters and mom jeans. I cannot shop in the same place she shops:

I’m a Black Woman! Ain’t that funny? (a rant)

HAYYYYYYY! It’s me! I’m BLACK and I’m LOUD and you know I’m SASSY!!

I’m stereotypical Sassy Black woman. I’m so funny and crazy! I think I am SO FINE! My body is large and I’m most definitely in charge! *snaps* Whoo! Check out these bright ass colors I wear. Yes! Every time I talk I can’t help but shake my head shimmy my shoulders like the chocolate bobble-head doll that I am. The wildest and boldest things come out of my mouth. I’m a riot. I pepper my conversation with random slang and around the way sayings. I know you think that’s cute! I can’t wait to make you uncomfortable with my forward, in your face humor and my inability to respect your boundaries. Every moment with me is like living on the edge! You never know when my sassy hilarity will transform into Stereotypical Black Girl Attitude!

iRant

Random Pic:

♣ For real though, why can’t white people on tv or radio say any phrase beginning with or containing the word “Da” correctly? Da Brat. Da bomb. Da Band. In Da Club. Polow Da Don. you know what I’m getting at. WHY do they sound so… so… ugh lame? Is all that emphasis really necessary? Honorable mention goes to white people saying 50Cent as FIDDY/FITTY in the most obnoxious way possible, giving each D or T it’s full and due enunciation. Wack. If that’s not some patronizing bullshit, I don’t know what is. Yo. Just say Fifty. That’s how you have been saying 50 out loud your whole life. Keep it up, Mr. Charlie.