I’m a Black Woman! Ain’t that funny? (a rant)

HAYYYYYYY! It’s me! I’m BLACK and I’m LOUD and you know I’m SASSY!!

I’m stereotypical Sassy Black woman. I’m so funny and crazy! I think I am SO FINE! My body is large and I’m most definitely in charge! *snaps* Whoo! Check out these bright ass colors I wear. Yes! Every time I talk I can’t help but shake my head shimmy my shoulders like the chocolate bobble-head doll that I am. The wildest and boldest things come out of my mouth. I’m a riot. I pepper my conversation with random slang and around the way sayings. I know you think that’s cute! I can’t wait to make you uncomfortable with my forward, in your face humor and my inability to respect your boundaries. Every moment with me is like living on the edge! You never know when my sassy hilarity will transform into Stereotypical Black Girl Attitude!

Sorry… I had to rant a little bit. This is not me being upset with certain Black women. This is me being frustrated with television’s portrayal of this Sassy-Sapphire archetype. More specifically, I was inspired by Sherri Shepherd (who is tragic in her own right) and Niecy Nash (of Reno 911 and Clean House). 

Sherri Shepherd is a comedian who now sits with the other banshees on The View sounding off on important things which she makes sound utterly unimportant. This is the woman who brought us the “I don’t think about it” response to the question whether she thought the earth was round or flat. My God. I have decided that her role on the view is to fill that stereotypical sassy seat because Whoopi sure isn’t going to do that bullshit. Granted, Whoopi has had her own issues over the years (Ted Danson?) but on The View, she’s mostly a voice of reason and common sense. The other day, Sherri and the Jewish Lady were interviewing Katt Williams. They begin by telling him they really wanted to interview Mariah, but couldn’t get her, so they settled for him. Nice. Then the man starts talking about his kids and Sherri gets all silly goosey and wants to talk about pimpin’. Shut THEE fuck up, Sherri. Katt Williams is on his best daytime television behavior and trying his hardest not to give her the STFU look. Meanwhile, Sherri just keeps bringing up dumb shit and smiling all hard. Hush, child. Lord, please save us from Sherri Shepherd. 

I don’t dislike Niecy Nash. She has two shows on television. Good for her. Outside of these shows she seems like a regular chick. Cool with me. On Reno 911, her character is supposed to be over the top for comedic effect. No problem there. But on Clean House… no. She’s always going to these folks’ homes and helping them get organized. They have a yard sale and she’s all “Where’s the chedda, scrilla, ching CHING?!” (That’s a direct quote, btw). This show blows for the very same reason Queer Eye blew. White folks need some wildin’ out Black woman to come whip them and their nasty houses into shape? HOW FUNNY!! Just like 5 gay dudes running to save some fat hair slob from a life of couch potato couture? Not amused. 

You know what, I’m not being fair here. These women are comedians, right? So they’re just doing their jobs. Nah, that’s the really jacked up part. That Black female comedians have no real range and almost exclusively lean on this jacked up stereotype in order to be marketable. 

This irks me personally because it reflects on me whether I like it or not. I’m a wild and crazy person. I’m loud when I want to be. I AM sassy, I suppose. But in my own way. Not in some stereotypical way. Still, it never fails that every now and then someone will call themselves repeating something I said or trying to re-tell a story involving me and they’ll throw on that typical Sassy Black Woman voice (complete with neck rolling). Um… I don’t talk like that. Well, not all the time. Most likely not at the time they were referring to. That shit pisses me off. I speak in class and sound more articulate than half of you hacks but when it’s time to repeat what I said I’m an extra from Madea Goes to Jail? 

*slaps self on forehead*

2 Comments

Filed under Now I'm pissed, Routine Ramblings

2 responses to “I’m a Black Woman! Ain’t that funny? (a rant)

  1. I chanced upon this post while searching for black women and their funny talk-stereotypes, while watching an episode of ‘Family Guy’. I agree with you, and Niecy Nash is just weird. But atleast her words are coherent; “I Love New York”, comparatively, was a much more horrid TV show with the head-rollings, the loud make-up, the street-talk- all perpetuating the black woman myth, and the way its been converted into something funny for mass consumption. And this stereotype is being perpetuated worldwide sadly. Proof- I am from India.
    Nice post though. Things will only improve when the general population starts rejecting this garbage.

  2. bubblin brown shuga

    funny thing is that sometimes “laura” from family matters is on Clean House and she does the same thing. its like they are being an impression of themselves. not who they are but a character of who they think they should be. mrs. neely does it too. i dont think they mean to but like the poet said, “there’s a market for niggas” and them mammies are getting paid.

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