♣ For real though, why can’t white people on tv or radio say any phrase beginning with or containing the word “Da” correctly? Da Brat. Da bomb. Da Band. In Da Club. Polow Da Don. you know what I’m getting at. WHY do they sound so… so… ugh lame? Is all that emphasis really necessary? Honorable mention goes to white people saying 50Cent as FIDDY/FITTY in the most obnoxious way possible, giving each D or T it’s full and due enunciation. Wack. If that’s not some patronizing bullshit, I don’t know what is. Yo. Just say Fifty. That’s how you have been saying 50 out loud your whole life. Keep it up, Mr. Charlie.
Oh, and add to this names beginning with “Lil'”. As in Lil’ Kim. Lil’ Bow Wow. Lil’ Romeo. Lil’ Pistol Starter. Why must they always put the emphasis on the L, as in Lilllllll Kim. Damn white folk!
♣ The package of break n bake refrigerated cookie dough says not to eat the dough raw. Are they freakin’ serious. We’re SO gonna eat some raw. I just feel a bit upset at them for even putting that there. I mean, I know about salmonella and consuming raw eggs and all that jazz. But I’m 26 years old and still kicking. Do you have any idea how many bowls I’ve licked in my day? My grandma was a baking ass lady, yo. Half the joy of baking is being able to hand the spoon over to your kid and let them go in on the brownie batter lollipop! Hell, if people can drink a glass of raw egg to get all ironman and whatnot, I’m confident I can break off one of those cookie dough squares and nibble to my heart’s content.
♣ Ever have someone tell you that you can’t save the world when you try really hard to do something positive and fall a bit short? “You can’t save the world, buddy,” usually followed by some pat on the back type of gesture. Well you know what… I think that’s a shitty thing to say. It’s an excuse lame people use so that they don’t have to put in the blood, sweat, tears and inevitable disappointment which comes with such a huge endeavor. Saving the world might be a bit much, but changing the world isn’t impossible. Without a doubt, individuals have made lasting impressions on this planet which shape how we think and act. Why can’t you or I be someone like that? It just seems so selfish and irresponsible to limit yourself to the world outside your window. It’s also pretty insane to believe that what you do has no effect on anyone but you and yours. So do me a favor: The next time someone laments that they can’t save the world… walk away from them. They’re severely stunted in terms of evolution. Evolve already!
♣ Here’s a brief lesson in fashion: Take some shit off! If you’re anything like me, you do a final check (or 2 or 6) before leaving the house. Well, when you’re on your final FINAL check, please do me (and yourself) a favor by taking something off. Usually, when we get dressed we put on too much shit. Sunglasses, headband, bracelet, necklace, brooch, jacket, scarf, rings, etc. You get the point. I think Raven illustrates this pretty well. She already look mad stuffed in the chest. She has on too much crap for ya girl. See…
Really? A hat, sunglasses, big ass earrings, necklace, a tie, AND a sweater vest? Why?
♣ Um, just because I have a double shower head (one is handheld/removable) doesn’t mean that I engage in rampant shower masturbation. Sheesh. Grow up!
♣ I am pretty confident in saying that I will not marry a man who cannot properly place an apostrophe. It kills me to see otherwise intelligent people write something to the effect of: “The Clinton’s have some nerve calling anyone elitist!” Generally, the ‘s is used for one of two purposes
- You want to use a contraction. For instance, “It is raining” becomes “It’s raining.”
- You want to convey possession. One way to say, “The computer belongs to Mya” is “That is Mya’s computer.”
I mean, wtf is so difficult about that?