My car hates me and decided to come apart on I-95 South yesterday. See pics below.
Short story: I’m driving in the left lane, about 30 min outside of my final destination (eerily, I could have been a character waiting to meet her end in that damned movie). Out of nowhere, I hear this loud boom and my car swerves a little. I look in the rear-view mirror and I can see the motorcycle driver behind me looking all funny and moving over a few lanes. I also see that something has flown OFF of my vehicle. Okay. Ok. So I cross four lanes of traffic to get to the shoulder while maintaining control of the car and wondering what the hell just happened. When I get to the shoulder, I look in my right side mirror and can see something protruding off of my car. I can’t tell what it is at this point, though. Not too long after I stop, a Maryland Highway Maintenance guy pulls up behind me. He gets out his car and stands outside of mine. However, I don’t get out because I’m really just in shock. I’m bugging and calling my boy to come get me. When I finally get off of the phone, I get out and I cannot believe what the fuck I am seeing. My first thought is OH SHIT! THE ENTIRE REAR OF MY CAR HAS FALLEN OFF! Actually, my rear bumper had come unsecured on one side and was hanging off on the other. Kind of like a fingernail you haven’t quite cut/bitten off yet.
I couldn’t figure out how this had happened at first. The guy asked if I had been hit. “No,” I replied. He said, “I have never seen anything like this just happen.” Well damn, me neither. So I walk around the car and see the tire. The rear, driver’s-side tire had completely blown its tread. I turned around and, yup, a piece of my tire was sitting in the 2nd lane of the highway. So genius highway man and I came to the conclusion that the tire went kaboom and the impact/pressure of that event caused the bumper to blow off. Great.
“Do you have a spare?” he says. I sigh. I do have a full-sized spare, but I JUST put it on my rear, passenger-side wheel THE DAY BEFORE. [see, on Friday, I was riding with my girlfriend and we noticed I had a flat, upon further inspection when the tire was changed, we noticed that a rather large razor blade was deeply lodged into the tire’s guts. What the fuck? So, I had already used the spare about 24 hours earlier.] This sucks because had I had the tire, I he could have changed it and I could have driven the car to my destination. Anyway, highway man offers to clip the rest of the nail, or pull off the other side of the bumper with his tools. Alrighty. So at this very moment, the rear bumper to my car, with my license plate and Temple Law frame, is sitting IN my backseat. Great.
Now comes the pouring part:
This morning, I missed two phone calls because my phone was on vibrate. The first came from a state trooper who wanted to tell me that if I didn’t call him back, they were going to have to put my car in storage. The second call was from the state trooper telling me that my shit WAS indeed already in storage. [By the way, highway man told me that I would be okay to leave the car and come get it in the morning. Not saying he was lying, because they DID call me about it, I’m just a little salty.]
I call the trooper’s barracks and they tell me I have to bring my title (which is in PA) or my registration (which is in the car). I obviously have access to none of those items, but thankfully they tell me they can look up my proof of ownership via my license. But here’s the thing, after I take those documents to the barracks and prove ownership, I will have to go to the contracted tow truck company and get my car out of storage. Hmm… well that’d be fine if the damned tow company was OPEN. Apparently, they’re open for towing on the Sunday of Memorial Day Weekend, but they’re closed if you want to talk to anyone or get your car. Closed until Tuesday. So I owe the towing fee (which is $100 something bucks) and the storage fee for today, tomorrow and whenever until I can pick it up.
Who knows when that will be because I also happen to be BROKE right now. If you think I’m exaggerating here, let me be the first and the last to say “nope”. So I’m pretty much screwed. I might have to leave the car in Maryland until this weekend. Of course that will mean spending more money to eventually get it out, but what can I do? If you ain’t got it, you aint got it!