Monthly Archives: June 2008

Tilt, Tuck & Tighten!

Hip Hop AbsIf you watch the infomercial channel or stay up really late, you’ve probably seen this infomercial for fitness. I was eating my cereal one morning and turned to the infomercial channel for kicks. I got what I was looking for.

So this workout is supposed to be for people who find “regular” exercise boring and ineffective. The claim to fame is that you do not have to do a traditional sit-up or crunch to get rock hard abdominals. So how do you do it? By grooving to hot hip-hop tunes and following Shaun T’s “3 T’s”, Tilt, Tuck, Tighten!!

Um, okay. Well let’s break this down a little bit. You got your man Shaun T. His only qualifications to lead a workout seem to be his body (can’t go wrong there), his race (appears to be Black), his chessiness, and his poor grasp of the English language (“I don’t gotta do no situps or no crunches!”).

Shaun T

Hey, I’m Shaun T. You might not know it now, but I used to be 50 pounds heavier. I lost the weight just by dancing and having fun with my Hip Hop Abs program. That’s right, I got these flat, amazing abs without getting on the floor.

I can’t wait to share my fitness and diet secrets with you. I’ll show you my “Tilt, Tuck & Tighten” technique for six-pack abs and burning the fat off your entire body! And don’t worry if you can’t dance, I’ll teach you my moves, step by step, and you’ll be ready to hit the clubs in your hot new body in no time! Continue reading

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“Nika” – [Destination Brooklyn-’94]

I had this on cassette. I wore it out.

Lil’ Vicious THEN and “Don Vicious” NOW . Oh, how I miss 1994.

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Sarah Ralston – RW20 Rant #4,328

This chick is the WORST person on television right now. She is the epitome of holier-than-thou hater.

Sarah Ralston

If you don’t already know, meet Sarah Ralston. A 21 yo from Tempe, Arizona and professional asshole.
If she wasn’t bitchy to everyone, I’d think she had a thing against Black men (Greg and Nick). She looks at Nick in her drunken stupor (see below) and yells “Who do you think you are? Charles Barkely?!” Umm… stfu. But then again, she tried to make out with Will when they first got in the house, so nevermind on that point. Anyway, Sarah is the snark ringleader on the show. She usually ropes in siller-than-everyone Kimberly and they both go on their hate rants. Continue reading

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Spotlight: Goddess Zuri

Au Naturel

PREFACE: You may not know it, but Bourgie is a natural gal. I mean, besides a little hair color, my hair is noy chemically processed. I went natural in college, junior year. Cut off my shoulder-length, permed hair and traded it in for a few inches of curly, kinky coils. That was just when folks in NC started catching on. See, many of us Black women have no real memory of our hair in its unprocessed state. I know I had a perm in 2nd grade then, (don’t laugh) a curl. Yeah, you laughed anyway. I was nervous at first, to rock the new style. Then I found joy in running my hands over and through my hair and feeling the wavy kinks. It had life. Character. Style!

However, I like to switch the style up (like Banks told me). Now I primarily wear my hair blown and pressed a la the Dominicans. Still, whenever I’m nostalgic for that yummy feeling of touching my OWN natural texture I wash and wear.

Goddess Zuri

Spotlight: Celebrating that life, character, style and pizazz that natural hair projects is a line of apparel and accessories called Goddess Zuri. As GZ’s creator, Candace says, “Goddess Zuri products are designed to celebrate natural beauty with edge, attitude and confidence.” Honestly, who doesn’t like a cool, funky tee?

I’m getting one. This stuff is Bourgie Approved™! Please check out the site and the merchandise. The site features “Beau-Tees”, “Royal-Tees” and “Naugh-Tees”. You can guess which are my favorites. One hot “Naugh-Tee” is simply known as “Big”, allowing the wearer to proclaim her um, preference. LOL.

Here’s a peek:

As a future lawyer, I feel like it is my duty to admit any possible bias before putting you on to Goddess Zuri. If you ever check out my “about me” section, you’ll know that I went to UNC Chapel Hill for undergrad. What you don’t know is that I met the creator of Goddess Zuri there, we lived in the same suite freshman year! I just found out about her business endeavors a little while ago and bookmarked the page. Now I’m sharing it with you, not because I used to share a bathroom with the creator (who is a great person and never left her shower caddy in the way), but because she has some cool products to offer with a great message: natural beauty is where it’s at. That being said, Go HEELS!

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Fatman Scoop – “Be Faithful”

So, this IS the club song. It was made for people to get on the dancefloor and put their hands in the air. I can’t even count the times I’ve heard this while out. A 90s jam, this joint still plays in clubs and at parties all over the world.

Yes, the word. The jawn was a #1 UK hit and has a video (that I’m just learning about).

At first I thought it was a silly lil’ video and was watching while reminiscing about good times dancing to the song. Then came the WTF moment at 1:30. Really, WTF? I thought it was weird enough to show homegirl like that on the pole (0:48), but damn. And the end? Am I being like, extra sensitive and weirded out or was that video truly ODD?

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Weekly Someecards Post – #10

If you’re not laughing at and sending off e-cards from someecards.com, well you’re not as cool as you thought you were. Here’s where I post a card from the site. I do it because I enjoy them and you should too.

Someecard

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Can it get any dumber? [more soulja boy v. ice-t]

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Soulja Boy Told’im

Soulja Boy

I know a lot of people have already seen this video of Soulja Boy Tellem responding to Ice-T dissin’ him (telling him to eat a dick, saying he singlehandedly killed hip-hop). I saw it out there but didn’t click on it until a couple of days after it came out.

My man FWMJ over at Rappers I Know posted the vid and also a pretty good comment about it, so I decided I’d just copy that whole thang over to Bourgie Adventures. If you haven’t seen the vid, it’s like 7:41 long and is RIFE with “Ni&&a this, ni%%a that” all the way through (so headphones or wait ’til you are home).

LOL
dawg, all respect to Ice T, but u dont blame a 17 year old boy

U wanna blame someone, blame the DJs spinning his record in his city
blame the sorry state of hip hop that your generation let my generation have to suffer thru (puff, jay, russel simmons, nas, etc)
blame the dollar over anything else record execs that signed this boy to a deal and distributed his music widely
blame the music buying public for having lowered standards (thanks to the neptunes selling everyone the same beat for their lead singles for like 6 years straight for example)
thank this culture’s obsession with reality tv and voyeurism, we on some Philip K Dick/Running Man shit for real
thank all them niggas that valued business over art in the late 90s early 00s that dismantled the need and use for any hip hop of urgency or weight or any social or artistic value in the mainstream
blame shitty A&Rs
blame the press for hyping mediocre records to the point the go plat in one week in this fucked up economy/market (i see you lil wayne)
blame niggas that could have made a difference that let their ego and pride and personal ambition get in the way of them making a difference (hello qtip ali phife dangelo the roots mos kweli common)
blame the industry only looking at 3.5 American cities for hip hop acts anyway like they won’t run out of talent (new york los angeles atlanta and maybe chicago). Detroit city makes better hip hop than any city on earth, the bay is sick, houston is multifaceted north carolina is home of the goddamb justus league

Ice T crazy; soulja boy killed it? That kid just getting in where he fit in
Ice T needs to go sit down somewhere

[typed on my iPhone, excuse the poor grammuhz]

In my opinion, Soulja Boy made some pretty decent points in his own 17 year old way. He’s no Barack Obama, but he clearly isn’t an idiot. He sounds like a kid, as he should. His jokes are type funny, I must say. I was on my couch dying. And while I’m not nominating him for the hip hop hall of fame I understand where his music fits and what it’s for… silly ass dancing. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that.

For really tho’, what was Ice thinking? What good did he expect to do.

I’m not saying I think it’s okay for kids to go around cursing out old folks. I’m not condoning all the foul language and get money by any means necessary attitude. I’m definitely not cosigning those two lame dudes in the background. I’m just saying.

For a laugh, check out what the ladies collectively known as BelleJenkins are saying about it on their vlog.

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Sleep it off

[Posting from my bed via the SK3]
And so comes the end of an overall shitty day.
I had a very stressful day @ work today. Dealing with surprise clients, a mass of paperwork and a nutass broad really pushed me to my limit.
My girl, “the Arruh”, took me for Starbucks and pedicures, which made me feel better momentarily. Then I left for home and as the subway ambled northbound on the Broad Street Line, I eased back into a funk.
Man, the problem is that I spend very little time being negative. I usually have a number of problems weighing on me @ any given moment, but I try to brush that shit off and K.I.M. I tend to be really “whatever” about most things and go through like with a “fuck it, lets see where this takes us” attitude.
As a result, the problems and issues tend to snowball and pile up. Next thing you know, I’m in a funk, all sulking and being pouty. Inconsolable. Sitting around all “woe is me.” The fact that I hate being that way makes it even worse, causing me to sink deeper.
“I hate my life,” is what I’ve been known to say at these times.
Instead of just focusing on the bad day @ work, I start adding in my doubts about school, uncertainty about the future, frustration with my car, worries about finances, and insecurities dealing with a man.
I think I pile everything on at once so I can do one big sulk about it all, then suck it the hell up and move on… that is until it happens again, until I overflow with pent up frustration. Problem is, I don’t really think there is any one person I can vent to properly. Plus I’ve always only handled things for and by myself. I guess I’m just used to grinning and bearing it.
That’s wiggity wack, though.
I hope that I feel better in the morning. I’ll certainly want to delete this whole emo ass posting, though. I mean, who wants to read whiny blog crap like THIS?
Then again, it took a lot of time and thumb-power to type this shit out while laying on a heart-shaped pillow. I might just have to let this one ride.

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I have a confession to make

I ♥ Doug E. Fresh!!!

Get Fresh

I mean, I don’t want to marry the dude or anything. All I know is that I have never been to a party or show where Doug E. was performing, hosting or DJ’ing that wasn’t the BEST time. He really is the world’s greatest entertainer! Florida, NC, PA, NY. I’ve seen Doug E. in a lot of different places and no matter what, I’m always up front. Yo, I even had a drank with the man. JACK DANIELS!! Ahhhh. LOL.

I’m pretty sure that one day I’m going to organize some kind of event, maybe even my wedding, and I will have Doug. E. there. If I die, somebody out there better call that man. I want him beatboxing all around my casket. As they lower me into the ground, all of you black-clad mourners better be ready for the call and response: Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Yooooooooooo

AIGHT!

Like really, who is better?

From old-school Doug E. (with the Get Fresh Crew) – All the Way to Heaven – to one of my jams (cuz instead of that chicken McNugget a woman needs a value pack):

Even with this 90s joint….(This jawn is hilarious just because Doug E. is jammin with the no shirt on! LOL. Family, you’re a great entertainer, but H-Town you are not):

So yeah. Clown if you want. But if we happen to out and about and some Doug E. Fresh comes on, don’t expect me to hold up the wall with you, loser.

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