“My aura, my essence, I step into a room and everyone thinks they are unequal to me, know why, cause they are unequal to me” – G. Halstead
Dear Greg**,
I have been watching MTV’s The Real World since the very beginning. I have followed the show for all twenty seasons! I must admit that my feelings for the show have changed because, well, the show has changed. The casts have gotten younger and are clearly casted to be “characters” that can be easily edited into whoever the producers want to portray: Angry Black Man/Woman, Bitchy Gay Man, Ignorant Southern Belle, etc. Truthfully, it’s hard to watch some seasons because they’re so full of stereotypes and drunken hot tub antics.
Still, one thing has remained constant throughout the years: my affinity for the housemate everyone loves to hate. It all started in New York with the very first season. The roommates were all frazzled by Kevin Powell, the young, Black man who always had something to say and did so to his heart’s content. He bumped heads with everyone, namely MTV man-candy Eric and Country bumpkin Julie. Surprisingly (to some, but not to me), Kevin is a wonderful person who has done so much community work. He’s been published several times over, speaks around the nation and is running for office! I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Kevin several times. Once, he was polite enough to complement me after I sang TLC’s “No Scrubs” at karaoke. Thank God we had beers. I digress.
What I am trying to say, Greg, is that from the very beginning – that first episode of season 20 – I knew that I would be watching the show to see you. Before you even entered the house, the roommates all formed preconceived notions of you based on the fact that you were the internet pick to be in the house. Then you came in all nonchalant and they were all, “who does this guy think he IS?” I died.
The Greg Hate is strong. The roommates certainly felt an obscene amount of loathing for you. The viewing public is no different. To be honest, you’ve done some pretty immature and childish bullshit which, if I were in the house, would have pissed me off too. I’m also annoyed by your overuse of the words “Brah” and “Dude” grate on my ears, the fact that you were even dealing with Reva (she’s lame and not hot), and those horrible shirts/hats you wear, made me tsk tsk at you. But I was NOT in the house, so I can laugh at all of your behavior which paled in comparison to the bugged out reactions the other housemates displayed. Their reactions to things were totally disproportionate to the “crimes”.
Greg, you’re fucking hilarious. Facial expressions alone – I mean, how can someone maintain that disaffected, nonchalant, above it all, “I’m totally bored by you people,” look for so long? When everyone is getting emotional and upset, you were always kicked back and giving face like “who ARE you people?” Greg, you’re a sarcastic, blunt, smug, and unapproachable loner/jerk/asshole. I love it. You refer to yourself as “The Chosen One,” for goodness sake! Women as “associates”? LOL! PEASANTS!!! Your level of conceit and self-absorption would rival that of any other Real World cast member on the planet.
I don’t know what the future hold for Greg Halstead. I don’t really know if that modeling thing is going to pop off, brother. I mean, I think you have the look for it but that windmill move on the runway? Fam, that’s cool for BET’s Rip The Runway or Ebony Fashion Fair (no dis to Ebony, but it’s more performance-based modeling) but it ain’t gonna cut it in Milan. I hope you accept the offers that are sure to come from MTV to be on a Challenge. There will be new people there to hate on you but I’m sure you’ll keep it regular Greg style – ignoring those peasants. If MTV (and your agent) was smart, they’d go VH1 styles and offer you a spinoff show of your own.
I didn’t pay all that much attention to the last RW in Australia, so thanks Greg for making MTV watchable again for a fellow asshole.
Your pal,
The Bourgie One
bourgie, interrupted 
