Sleep it off

[Posting from my bed via the SK3]
And so comes the end of an overall shitty day.
I had a very stressful day @ work today. Dealing with surprise clients, a mass of paperwork and a nutass broad really pushed me to my limit.
My girl, “the Arruh”, took me for Starbucks and pedicures, which made me feel better momentarily. Then I left for home and as the subway ambled northbound on the Broad Street Line, I eased back into a funk.
Man, the problem is that I spend very little time being negative. I usually have a number of problems weighing on me @ any given moment, but I try to brush that shit off and K.I.M. I tend to be really “whatever” about most things and go through like with a “fuck it, lets see where this takes us” attitude.
As a result, the problems and issues tend to snowball and pile up. Next thing you know, I’m in a funk, all sulking and being pouty. Inconsolable. Sitting around all “woe is me.” The fact that I hate being that way makes it even worse, causing me to sink deeper.
“I hate my life,” is what I’ve been known to say at these times.
Instead of just focusing on the bad day @ work, I start adding in my doubts about school, uncertainty about the future, frustration with my car, worries about finances, and insecurities dealing with a man.
I think I pile everything on at once so I can do one big sulk about it all, then suck it the hell up and move on… that is until it happens again, until I overflow with pent up frustration. Problem is, I don’t really think there is any one person I can vent to properly. Plus I’ve always only handled things for and by myself. I guess I’m just used to grinning and bearing it.
That’s wiggity wack, though.
I hope that I feel better in the morning. I’ll certainly want to delete this whole emo ass posting, though. I mean, who wants to read whiny blog crap like THIS?
Then again, it took a lot of time and thumb-power to type this shit out while laying on a heart-shaped pillow. I might just have to let this one ride.

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2 Comments

Filed under Routine Ramblings

2 responses to “Sleep it off

  1. You gotta take the good with the bad, let the bad roll of and let the good stick.

  2. Polo Bear

    I have had several bad days recently…new job…newer boss, car accident and other shit make life a little tougher for the kid. I just try to push thru it, don’t let things bog me down too much. I have had bad days in the past and I will have bad days in the future, such is life. I just have to figure out a way to learn from those bad days and mitigate any collateral damage from said bad days…

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