Tilt, Tuck & Tighten!

Hip Hop AbsIf you watch the infomercial channel or stay up really late, you’ve probably seen this infomercial for fitness. I was eating my cereal one morning and turned to the infomercial channel for kicks. I got what I was looking for.

So this workout is supposed to be for people who find “regular” exercise boring and ineffective. The claim to fame is that you do not have to do a traditional sit-up or crunch to get rock hard abdominals. So how do you do it? By grooving to hot hip-hop tunes and following Shaun T’s “3 T’s”, Tilt, Tuck, Tighten!!

Um, okay. Well let’s break this down a little bit. You got your man Shaun T. His only qualifications to lead a workout seem to be his body (can’t go wrong there), his race (appears to be Black), his chessiness, and his poor grasp of the English language (“I don’t gotta do no situps or no crunches!”).

Shaun T

Hey, I’m Shaun T. You might not know it now, but I used to be 50 pounds heavier. I lost the weight just by dancing and having fun with my Hip Hop Abs program. That’s right, I got these flat, amazing abs without getting on the floor.

I can’t wait to share my fitness and diet secrets with you. I’ll show you my “Tilt, Tuck & Tighten” technique for six-pack abs and burning the fat off your entire body! And don’t worry if you can’t dance, I’ll teach you my moves, step by step, and you’ll be ready to hit the clubs in your hot new body in no time!

The Hip Hop Abs folk swear you could do the same fitness moves in the club. I’d really hate to see this happen. But to prove it to you, they play the “hot” music of the day which amounts to shitty remakes of songs such as Lumidee’s “Uh Oh” and Usher’s “Yeah”.

But hey, maybe I’m wrong. You DO get all kinds of “but wait, there’s more!” shit (a $400 value) for only 4 payments of $19.95!.

The infomercial is like any other you’ve seen. There’s before & after photos, testimonials, so-called doctors talking about how effective the exercise is, and all kinds of “free” bonuses. However, the thing that REALLY bugs me about this whole infomercial is the part about shipping. So check it, after one is convinced to buy these CDs, after they’re sure they’ll never have to do another crunch again, they need to order, right? They better hurry up, then. Because if you order within the next 8 minutes, you are upgraded to free express delivery!! Then a voice says something like, “Why wait 4-6 weeks for delivery when you can have Hip Hop Abs at your door in 5-7 days?” HUH? Since when does it even take 4-6 weeks to send some CDs? Netflix does it in 2 days. That part pissed me off the most. It’s like, they insulted my intelligence and familiarity with the US Postal Service. Hmph.

I mean, you can try it out for yourself, but I’d feel like a dick trying to do these moves. Besides, I already know how to dance. I get quite a workout when Luke comes on.


Filed under Routine Ramblings

5 responses to “Tilt, Tuck & Tighten!

  1. I love you for this one. Is he not the gayest, straight dude you’ve ever seen.

  2. ndenise

    He for SURE is the lamest.
    I wonder how he is in “real life” when he’s not hocking a quick fix to beer bellies.

  3. Awww…that’s my buddy…lol

    Shaun is a pretty cool guy and great dancer, which is how he got started in the fitness…in high school he was the ‘chubby’ kid…lol.

    As cheesy as the videos are, he does alot in regards to physical fitness & dance with kids in Cali..and when he’s back home in NJ.

    But yeah, everytime I see that information I do crack up call him just to tease him and his gf..lol

  4. ndenise

    Oh wow! Somebody actually knows him. So he’s NOT a cyborg with abs made of steel (literally)!

    That’s cool though. I mean, if they paid me right, I’d stan like that on an infomercial too!

  5. Don’t hate, yo.
    I’m about to order this and get sexy.

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