Happy (single and) Independence day!

Swiped from the good people over at The Frisky, “Top 10 Best Things About Being Single and Independent,” I decided to weigh in. I am, after all, single.

In honor of Independence Day, we asked around for the best things about being single and independent. Here’s the top ten!

10. HOOKING UP
“Kissing total strangers when you’re out at bars or on dance floors. No names, no numbers exchanged, just random frenching.”—Sonia
“Ahh, guiltless, shameless flirting with strangers.”—Jocelyn

Well, I can’t say this is all that it’s cracked up to be. I have never in my 26 years on this earth, randomly made out with someone at a bar or club. Never. I kind of want to try and see though. I mean, what’s all the fuss about? Kinda um, unsanitary right?

9. BEING SELFISH
“Planning for the future without having to consider anyone else.”—Josh
“Having the whole bed to yourself. It’s just amazing.”—Kellie

This is nice. I love taking up the whole bed, drinking out of the carton when I want to, eating the last of the Fruity Pebbles, and only having to think about what I want today and tomorrow.

8. NOT HAVING TO LIE
“Not having to pretend you have your period when you don’t want to have sex.”—Leo
“I don’t have to pretend I’m okay with a guy’s morning breath. Seriously, boys. Brush your teeth. Just ‘cause I love you doesn’t mean I love your halitosis.”—Aimee

HAHA @ pretending to have your period. Never done that, but I do appreciate not having to think all of the time about whether I am doing something that I’m going to have tell my significant other in bits and pieces. Selective truth-telling, you know.

7. FREEDOM
“You can do whatever the hell you want, when you want, and not have to care about someone else. Wanna go out for drinks after work and get sloshed? You don’t have to call and make sure it’s okay.”—Delilah
“You can flit around from party to party and bar to bar on the 4th—and any other night—without having to worry about another person.”—Lesley

Flirting is like, a favorite pastime of mine. It is nice to not have to worry about whether I’d be offending my SO by batting my eyelashes at a guy for a dirty martini or 4.

6. FARTING
“Really not having to hide a single bodily function, ever.”—Danielle
“Not having to run to the Starbucks down the street in order to take a crap.”—Megan

Amen.

5. SELF-LOVE
“Uninterrupted masturbation time.”—Erin
“Being able to surf YouPorn and XTube and TotallyNSFW without having to clear the cache afterwards.”—Maggie

Why is it that when you want to masturbate, a guy wants to cut in like you silently invited him to your party for one? Let me get mines super quick and with minimal mess. Thank ye.

4. LEISURE
“Being free to try on 500 outfits before going out without having anyone witness how neurotic you can be.”—Fiona
“Watching Sex and the City reruns, America’s Next Top Model marathons, and, like, Evita, without anyone hassling you about it.”—Sara

Men complain a lot about you wanting to do “girl” things. You shop too long. You watch dumb movies. You talk about silly things with your girlfriends. SO WHAT! I don’t say jack about you playing GTA all night with your boys!

3. GROOMING, OR LACK THEREOF
“I haven’t shaved in a week.”—Liza
“I like to pick at my dry feet while I watch TV. Can’t do that when there’s a dude around.”—Claire

This should be number one. When you’re seeing someone, you have to up your hair-removal routine. Also, for some reason, men like to watch me brush my teeth. Dude, flossing is NOT sexy. Back up. Once, a dude watched me wash some period blood off the inside of my thigh…

2. SELF-REFLECTION
“You’re just doing your own thing and being single is all about instant gratification.”—Simcha
“When you don’t have to think about another person’s feelings, there’s a lot of extra time to spend doing the stuff you love, reading books, pursuing your interests, and, you know, being a happy person all on your own.”—Annalee

Really, sometimes you don’t want to think about someone else and you need to spend time growing. Finding out who you are. It really will just make you a better person when you DO meet a guy you’re into.

1. SEX
“Being single is like having access to a buffet; you don’t have to commit to ordering one dish and you can make out/hook up/have sex with people who have different styles of making out/hooking up/having sex.”—Katie
“Guilt-free promiscuity, baby.”—Laurie

Enough said.

Got anything else to add?

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1 Comment

Filed under Good Reads

One response to “Happy (single and) Independence day!

  1. djtriptych

    Nooooooooooooo @ #3.

    This post needs a parental advisory sticker. Dudes are gross!

    I have a watching-black-girls-fuss-with-their-hair fetish though.

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