You call this “service”?

So I don’t know if yall know, but this bourgie babe used to wait tables. Yup, I worked at Chili’s Bar & Grill as a waitress and as a bartender. It was one of the worst jobs ever, but I think more people should try it out. You learn a lot about people, service, humility, containing your emotions, being fake as fuck and food. Some positives about the gig was getting cash every night and having flexible hours.

I was damn good at it too. I can still remember a shitload of orders (with modifications) without writing them down. I checked on my guests and looked hot in an apron. But shit, it was tiring. I left every night smelling like fajitas, even if I never carried a fajita that day. People are shitty to you sometimes. Bad tippers come in all ages, races and classes.

That being said, I’d like to think that I’m a model diner. I have a lot of patience for waitstaff wherever I go, because I know how things can get. I, in all of my greatness, have forgotten to put in an order, taken too long to refill a drink or just been in a crap mood when dealing with customers. It happens. On the flipside, I also have a limit as to what I’ll accept. Some shit is just a bad job.

Today, my supervisor took the interns out to lunch. We went to one of my favorite spots, Marathon Grill. I swear, I have never had a bad meal there ever. Lunch, dinner or brunch. We get seated and decide very quickly what we want. I think we sat there a good 7-10 min before being greeted. Had no clue who was servicing our table. At Chili’s, tables had to be greeted within the first two minutes and that was pushing it. Anywho… Dude comes by and says, “I’ll be right with you ladies.” Alright, I can dig it. It IS lunch rush.

Well, it takes another 10 minutes or so (I’m being generous, it felt like an eternity. But I know that it feels longer than it actually is) for him to come back and take the order. He doesn’t apologize or anything. Just asks if we’re ready. Now, my inner Nas wants to say “FUCK YOU THINK?” but I’m with work folk so I refrain. We order. Now here I am not exaggerating. We wait about um, at LEAST 20 minutes before he comes with the waters everyone ordered. Everyone but me. I ordered a seltzer with lime. They don’t have lime. He asked if lemon would be okay, I said yes. When he finally brings my drink, it’s conspicuously devoid of lemon. Nice. Oh, and let me not forget to mention that the table next to us, who was seated after us, gets their drinks first. I point this out to my company, but do not react because, I’m trying to keep from Nas’ing out.

Now it’s taking, I’d say, another 20 minutes to get the food. No one ordered a well-done steak or anything. Crabcake sandwich, Two omelets and a medium burger. The table next to us? They got their food before we did. WE ALL HAD THE SAME WAITER.

I’m thinking that we could get this meal for free. I’m not paying for it anyway, but it’s the principle. I keep pointing out how shoddy this service is, but I’m not getting the supportive reaction I need. At that point, I felt like complaining to the manager would seem really aggressive to the people I was with. So I fell back. But boy was I steaming. I kept giving the waiter “the look”. He was black, so I know he knew what the fuck that look meant, too.

When my food came, all I could think was “this shit better not be cold.” Had it been, all composure would have been lost, a free meal gained AND a free dessert earned.

Yo, I’m learning so much in law school… how not to kirk out. Honestly, though, I’m still thinking about calling the restaurant. I don’t know the server’s name though. L

The attorney left a good tip, because she’s a good person. I’m all about good tipping. Had it been up to me, that Nas woulda got ZERO.

When it was all said and done, he never apologized. Never said a word. Luckily, the supervisor was out with us, because it was a ridiculously long lunch.

Woosah.