August 4th: National Holiday?

I’ve always said we needed a holiday between Independence Day and Labor Day. Maybe this will be it some day.

Happy Birthday Mr. Obama! 47 is looking good.

Happy Birthday (Mr. President)

And um, why can’t people just LOL and K.I.M.? The hate is overwhelming. Thanks MikeO for all the hits today!

8 People Who Will Ruin Your Party

Holy Taco – Throwing a party is a lot of work, so it’s a real disappointment when somebody you invited ruins it. Here are 8 types of people to watch out for before you make your next invite list.

8. Person Who Insists On Cleaning Up Your Party While It’s Still Going On

WHERE YOU CAN FIND THEM: Right in front of you, asking if your drink is finished. Or, methodically moving through the party with a white trash bag and a look on their face as if they’ve been hunting Osama Bin laden for the last 6 years and have narrowed down his whereabouts to somewhere in this party.

WHY THEY WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: Drinking a beer, much like sex, is far less enjoyable when someone is asking you if you’re finished every five minutes. It’s great that they want to help you clean up, but if you’ve decided to have a party, you’ve already resigned yourself to the fact that when it’s over, your house is going to probably look like the bathroom that Cary Elwes and Danny Glover woke up in, in the first Saw movie. I wonder if these people also decide to wipe their ass in the middle of taking a shit, just to “cut down on the work that has to be done when it’s all over!”

7. GUY WHO GETS WASTED IN THE FIRST HOUR

WHERE YOU WILL FIND HIM: Right by the fridge, bro, cause that’s where all the beer is!

HOW HE WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: From the moment this guy shows up, everything he says has an exclamation point at the end of it. “This party rules, dude!” “I am ready to party TO-night!” “Let’s shotgun these, bro!” “Tits!” Then, one hour and 13 beers later this guy is incoherent, weaving on his feet and saying stuff like “Paartyyyygjlskdvm…” So, instead of kicking back and hanging out with your friends, you have to spend the rest of the night making sure he doesn’t puke on your couch, piss in your plants or crap on your coffee table.