“If you can’t see the forest through the trees, you gotta chop them motherfuckers down.”
– The Tao of Diddy™
Last week Ms. Busty got the boot leaving Kim, aka Poprah, to gloat and scream another day. Ok, I’m sure Boris won’t win the show. Why? Because he couldn’t tell that Laverne was a transsexual. LOSER. Then again, my gaydar failed because I didn’t know Rob was gay before he said so. Not that there’s anything wrong with that © Seinfeld.
Of course, you can’t have a reality elimination show without some military/boot camp element. Before they even get started doing ANYTHING, Kim starts coughing all crazy. She claimed to be having allergies. Then she said something about asthmatic reaction to high pollen. Ok. Could be the case. Not a big loss anyway, the team decided, because she can’t run that well and is known to break down any teamwork whatsoever.
The teams weren’t even deep into the mission before I could tell that Rob was gonna go down. Guaranteed that if you think you got some shit in the bag, you’ll miss something. Sure, he was in the Army and he went to Iraq, but uh… homie could be over-confident. What did he do in the Army anyway? This fool coulda been a secretary or a cook. Fuck he know about a compass? I was so right. G.I. Rob got everybody lost, running around the woods talking about, “I tried to take a shortcut and made a mistake.” Thanks. Maybe they could have used Kim!
Anyway, Downtown team reaches checkpoint one and two while Uptown doubles back to start all over. Rob continues to crash and burn by asserting that Diddy won only ONE Grammy award, derailing his team. THEN Rob makes a miscalculation, derailing them again.
Damn, homie in the Army you was the man, homie…
After all that, up for elimination was Kim (again) and Rob. See, Kim is dangerous because she’s good TV. Reality shows aren’t all about picking the best person, they’re about good TV. Folks going up against her in elimination can’t beat her until she’s worn out her “good TV” 15 minutes. In the end, Rob got booted. You saw that coming, right?
I’ll tell you what about Kim, she should get an Emmy nod for this episode. Homegirl turned on the water works and delivered her lines like a pro, “Those same fuckin’ people sat right there and betrayed me! They did the same thing to Jesus. They did the same thing to Martin Luther King. They do the same thing to every great leader.”
Laverne dancing. Get it girl!