Chutney Popcorn

A woman. Her girlfriend. A sister. Her husband. Their baby.

I watched this movie the other day on LOGO (the LGBTQ television network) called Chutney Popcorn, directed by Nisha Ganatra, 1999. (Aside: I think it’s pretty cool that a LOGO channel exists. There are some good movies and shows on there, by the way. End Aside.)

Trailer:

First of all, I’m all for the little guy/gal getting their voice out with independent film. But sheesh, some of the acting was pretty bad and the quality of the film was distracting.

This story was a clusterfuck from the beginning. The “good daughter” Sarita gets married (albeit to man outside of their race, religion and culture) and can’t wait to start a family. The mother is so happy and proud of her married daughter who is doing the right thing, unlike her other lesbian disabled, motorcycle-riding child, Reena. But there’s always a catch, right? Of course. Sarita can’t have children. Aw damn. So Reena gets the bright idea to become a surrogate for her sister. Sarita was initially on board with it, convincing her husband Mitch that it was a good idea. No, he wouldn’t have to have sex with her lesbian sister. He’d just have to bust a couple shots off into a cup and send it over. This isn’t your usual surrogate situation where Reena’d basically be a human incubator for her sister’s baby. Sarita has no good eggs so the baby would be Reena’s and Mitch’s.

Reena tries and tries but nothing’s happening. Her girlfriend Lisa is using a turkey baster (honestly, does that shit really work?) to squeeze Mitch’s sperm into Reena. At this point in the movie, I’m bashed in the head with the stereotype that lesbians are as dumb as the 3 Stooges when it comes to all things involving penises and sperm. Lesbians take health class and have access to the internet too, ya know.

Finally, when Sarita can’t take the stress of being barren, having her husband jerk off instead of screwing her and knowing that his sperm is swimming in her sister’s vagina, She calls the whole thing off. OOPS! Too late. Reena’s pregnant! Now here’s where the bullshit comes in and the movie just pissed me off: Sarita don’t want the baby now.

Say what? We agreed that I, a lesbian woman who wasn’t really thinking about being a mother, would have a baby for you because you’re my sister and you were crying about how you feel all unfulfilled and less than a woman. Now you’re just going to up and renege now that I’m pregnant?! AYDMF!

Fast forward. Reena decides to keep the baby even though her girlfriend Lisa gets all freaked out about being Mommy #2 in this relationship. Eventually, Lisa gets over it, Reena has the baby and Mitch works his way in as Daddy Uncle.

I support non-traditional families. I also think that gay parents are capable of raising well-adjusted and screwed up kids just like hetero couples. This child, however, is going to have some time trying to figure out who is who. Uncle Daddy. Auntie Auntie. Mommy 1, Mommy 2. Mommy Auntie. Shit, I’m confused.

Overall, it was a decent Sunday afternoon movie. I came out of it wanting to get some Henna done and pretty sure that I wouldn’t be a surrogate for my sister. She’s too flaky and I don’t want to have to strangle her ass.

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Filed under I'm Judging You (reviews & criticism), Now I'm pissed

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