I Want to Work for Diddy – Mission 3

Working for me is like a rollercoaster ride, or if you woke up and thrown into the middle of an action movie. You have to be ready to be dropped in the middle of the jungle. You have to be prepared for anything.
– The Tao of Diddy™

If they pull something out this beautiful and amazing, I will be shocked and RuPauled.
– Laverne

Oh damn. Talk about unfair. Only about a few of the contestants get called down by the RED PHONE (calls from which must be answered immediately) to pack their toiletries and get in the car. Once inside, they find out they’re headed to Paris, France! Pretty cool. Laverne, Boris, Kim and Suzanne head to Europe while the others chill back in NYC. I guess they can take solace in the fact that there will be no time for sightseeing or crepes. Just haulin’ ass for Diddy.

When they arrived, their assignment is to find a model, convince her to come to NYC and do a photoshoot. Oh, by 4pm. The NYC folks have to plan a “sexy, original” print ad for Sean John eyewear (hmm, I’m in the market for some new glasses).

In a city they don’t know, with a language no one can speak, my girl Laverne has enough Vogue, House of Ninja and Sashay Chante in her to set up a meeting with the model’s agent at a bakery. See, that’s why you need a Rainbow Coalition member on the team. Boris was just straight hating though. He really can’t get over his problems with Laverne being a transgendered woman.

I don’t care if I gotta walk to Zimbabwe, cut down some trees in a forest and jump on the back of a giraffe, but naked, with no money. If that’s my mission, I’mma come back successful.
– The Tao of Diddy

*Sigh* Did anyone catch Poprah’s Jamaican French accent? Speaking of making a fool out of yourself, Boris tries to holler at the model Angela after Laverne finds her. Or maybe we should focus on Red falling UP the escalator. AYDMF!

With the Downtown Team, Deon comes up with “Glasses are the new skyline,” which is promptly shutdown by the crew. Okay, how about “Clarity. Vision. Expression.” Nope. Wack. Kendra puts forward “Diddy’s Final Touch,” and they’re all bustin nuts. Honestly, that sounds shitty and would not make me want to buy glasses. Laverne agreed, she was not feelin’ it. Throwing in her two cents (when nobody asked for it) she riles the team up to produce a new tagline. Stefanie had the idea of “See Yourself.” Eh.
Uptown Team tossed around a bunch of ideas and settles on “From Day to Dark.” I did question them allowing Poprah to do the model’s hair and makeup. But to be fair, she did a good makeup job. The hair… not so much.

In the end Boris and Deon take back seats while everyone else tries to wear the director’s hat. That doesn’t stop Uptown Team from taking the W.

Downtown, Uptown

Downtown, Uptown

I feel like walking the Fatwalk
– Poprah after the win

In a strange twist, I was sure that Boris (the team’s vote) was going to call Laverne to the carpet. Instead, he called out Deon. I guess it’s because Deon plays the background and didn’t speak up on his years of advertising experience – helpful information for a print ad challenge.
Say bye-bye to Deon.

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