Daily Archives: Aug. 20th, 08

Bros before Hoes?

What’s the female equivalent of that phrase? Chicks before Dicks? Ugh, whatever. I think by the time I’m done you’ll get my point.

Whatever you call it, I haven’t always been true to that credo. We say it all the time, never put your man/woman over your friends. The thinking is that relationships come and go, whereas friendships are constant. I get it, I really do and for the most part (about 98%) I’m with it. On the other hand, what if you believe you’re in a relationship that’s not “come and go”? Does “chicks before dicks” extend to your husband? I doubt it.

Anyway, like I said, I fell short once. A situation concerning myself, my girlfriend and my boyfriend ended up with me not talking to my friend anymore. For convenience (and privacy), let’s call her Faye.

Faye and I met in middle school. We weren’t super duper close during those years but in high school she was definitely a close associate. I had other girls who I would consider more friends at that time. When high school came to a close, however, we kind of banded together. We were up for some of the same scholarships. We were like our very own sorority of black chicks who were going to good schools, getting up out of our crap towns. We bonded in our burgeoning bourginess (points to me for alliteration!). During college, we became closer. Although we went to school in different states, I would often visit her campus for X-mas or other breaks and we’d hang.

After college was through, I was supposed to go straight to law school in New Orleans. I changed my mind, however, and decided to work a little bit and live in NYC. I linked up with Faye who was planning on staying in the city and we got a place together. Around the same time, I was in a relationship with a guy I’ll call Jason. Jason and I met my last semester in college. We were bonded instantly and when I left to go to NY, he moved up there to, staying with family.

Faye and I made cool roommates. We both worked a lot and really just relaxed in the evenings. On the weekends, she’d either go out of town or chill on a date. I’d hang with Jason who’d take the train from the ‘burbs to see me. Occasionally we’d all be in the apartment together. From the start, I could tell that Faye wasn’t too crazy about Jason. Continue reading


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