Obligatory ANTM Post

I am sorry. I didn’t really want to make an America’s Next Top Model post. Buttttttt I was watching the 2-hour season premier of Cycle 11 and I couldn’t keep some thoughts to myself. What can I say, I’m a junkie for ANTM. I haven’t missed a episode in FOREVER (thanks to DVR)! Instead of give a whole recap of the ep, I’ll just give some commentary about each chick this Cycle:

Sheena

At first, Sheena annoyed me. I thought she would be exploiting that Asian Girl Acting Black Up In Harlem role. As the ep went on, I started to like her more. She’s fun and confident. She also seems to be helping the other girls and supporting them in being confident. If anything, Tyra’nem will be exploiting her. Mr. Jay already called her “Hooch” in a photo shoot.

Sharaun

Okay, Sharaun (first name Brittany, but there are two other Brittanys in the competition) is pretty annoying. I didn’t think she should have made it into the house over Kacey (who was sure to bring drama and good TV). I’m not impressed yet.

Nikeysha

Nikeysha was cool in the beginning but she wilted by the end of the first ep. Representing the Bronx, she’s still somehow raising the roof. That’s hot in the BX, still?

Samantha

Honestly, I find Samantha to be boring. I don’t remember much about her.

Marjorie is from France. She moved to the US when she was like 7 and was home-schooled. She’s more socially awkward than homegirl from last season with Asperger’s. She’s terribly lacking in self-confidence and giggles nervously after every sentence. So cute, though. I hope she gets it together. I hope TYRA and the producers get it togther and QUIT playing that cheesy French music everytime Marj pops on screen.

Marjorie

Joslyn

Joslyn claims that she tried out for ANTM 30 times. She’s the oldest (I think) at 23. ANCIENT!!! LoL. This picture is actually really nice because when she first popped on screen she looked more like 27 and had a ponytail piece badly cocked on the top of her head. She’s sweet though, and country as all get out. Me likey and the judges do too.

Mckey

Mckey is the second Brittany. She spars with her MMA fighter boyfriend and (wo)mans his corner during cage matches. She’s cute, cuter whenever they get rid of that red mop on her head. I like her. She reminds me of the wrestler chick from a couple seasons ago, minus the weird skin and lesbian-ism.

Lauren

Lauren… another forgettable face. Well, the judges raved about her blue eyes. Eh.

Isis

Isis. Ah, Isis. The ratings draw. Best year ever goes to Transsexuals/Transgendered folks. I have no issue whatsoever with Isis. I think she’s “fierce” and clearly knows her stuff. She was handpickedafter standing out in the background as an extra in a photo shoot from last season. So what she tucks and tapes? The others are hating because they’re scared they’re going to get eliminated before a biological male. Where’s Maino? Hi Hater! Nah, but I like Isis because she’s open about who she is, she’s not on the show to promote some greater agenda and she’s just nice.

Elina

Elina, on the other hand, makes no apologies for having an agenda. I’m just not sure what it is yet. She’s vegan. She’s an animal activist. She’s transcendant-sexual (I just made that up to refer to folks who say things like “I love all people. I’m a very sexual person. I don’t see man or woman, just a human to love”). She doesn’t wear dresses. She only wears black. She has a crush on another girl in the house and said it’s her favorite thing to change straight girls over to her side. She’s kind of hot and scary in an Interview With A Vampire kind of way.

Hannah

Hannah. Sheesh. If she tells us one more time that she’s from Alaska, I’m going to die. This should be a new drinking game: Everytime you hear her say that, TAKE A SHOT! You’ll be wasted 30 minutes in. She talks about living in the Alaskan wilderness which, while fine and true, I find truly annoying. People have this idea of Alaska as some barren, foreign land. Sure, there’s a lot of wilderness there and rural areas. Still, Alaska is a popular vacation spot with cities and “normal” American people (no Palin joke here, although I take notice that one could be made). She’s the archetypical small town girl that reality TV loves so much. Kill me.

Brittany

When Brittany (the third!) says she has Indian in her fam-lay, she’s not lying. African American and Native American, this chick is riding for Nevada. She’s a cutie and has the benefit of appearing to be several races… definitely an asset in modeling.

Annaleigh

Annaleigh looks like this one actress whose name I cannot remember for the life of me. Ugh. Tyra says she walks with the “wind in her hair.” Ok, I can get with that. She’s kind of a follower, in my opinion but that remains to be seen.

Clark

Finally we have Clark, no “e”. She’s the house bitch, if you will. Overconfident. Mean. Hater. She’ll get cut down soon enough, trust.

And there you have it. ANTM Cycle 11. Expect more cliches and silly premised photo shoots. Expect a “you’re a racist!” accusation, more issues with Isis and a breakdown or seven. I love it.

FIERCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!