Bridget Jones, grow a pair.

I’m watching Bridget Jones Edge of Reason and it sucks bawlz. Who liked this movie? Why did Rene Zellweger get chubbo TWICE to play this knuckleheaded chick? It was probably the reported 3.2 million dollar bonus on top of the 15 million for the movie itself, but that’s beside the point.

She’s sooooo annoying. The writers of this flick are trying to convince me that insecurity is endearing. It’s not. They also want me to think that this woman, who finds value in her life only when there’s a man involved, is cute. No. She’s so tragic.

THe only reason I’m still watching is because I haven’t motivated my ass to move from the sofa to my bed. IF anything, this is a cautionary tale on how not to act. I’ve certainly learned something. Watching Bridget get up from bed wrapped in a sheet after a night of sex simply because she didn’t want her boyfriend to see her “wobbly bits” was painful. I wanted to give her one of those shoulda had a V8 knocks on the head. It also reminded me that 9/10, if he wanted to screw you all night, he ain’t really thinking about your wobbly bits in the morning. He more than likely was all about those bits when yall was bumpin and grindin.

Cocoon of self-pity and ice cream

Then she proceeds to sabotage the relationship she lives and breathes for (a six week relationship, btw) by letting her insecurities get in the way. Listen, if you keep telling a man about all of the reasons he shouldn’t be with you, he might start to listen.

To top it all off, I just generally dislike Rene in anything. In this shit, in that shit with Tom Cruise and as herself in real life.

This movie blows. I do not want to see a lonely, crying, self-deprecating, co-dependent white broad boo-hooing after some mediocre English guy.
To all the people who paid to see it, read the books and (oh God) bought the DVD: GET HELP NOW. I’m turning it off.

Advertisements

2 Comments

Filed under I'm Judging You (reviews & criticism), Now I'm pissed

2 responses to “Bridget Jones, grow a pair.

  1. I actually liked the movie, both of them. I found it entertaining, and had good laughs while watching it.

  2. Apparently, laughing808, you are not alone. The movies and the books have a huge following. I just couldn’t get past my frustrations about how she was acting to simply enjoy the humor. To each her own!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s