Baby, do you want a massage?

I just thought this was too cute!

I just thought this was too cute!

No, I’m not talking about that lame line brothers use to try and get you naked (Shout out to Little Brother). The kind of massage I’m talking about can really help a sister out when she’s most in need: During her period.

When I was in college, I went through a period of severe menstrual symptoms. I would have long, heavy periods with cramps, chills/sweats, vomitting, headaches, the whole nine. I was in bad shape. Luckily the worst of the symptoms would only last the first two days, with day one being the most severe. During that time, I started paying more attention to the way my body was feeling, kind of isolating the areas of pain. Most of those places are expected to hurt: lower back, tender breasts, lower abdomen. One place that felt odd was the bottom of my feet. I started to think that maybe there was some pressure point in my foot that was “connected” to my uterus. Since I couldn’t massage my uterus, maybe I could try my foot. BINGO! While I wasn’t able to get complete relief, (probably because I didn’t really know where to touch), I did start to feel something was letting up.

Reflexology is a strange holistic “medicine”, mostly because no one knows how it really works.

Reflexologists posit that the body contains an energy field, invisible life force, or Qi, the blockage of which can prevent healing. Other reflexologists claim to be able to relieve stress and pain in other parts of the body through the manipulation of the feet. Other proposed effects of reflexology include the release of endorphins (natural pain killers found in the body), the promotion of lymphatic flow in the body, or the dissolving of uric acid crystals. – Wiki

Whichever explanation you fancy, I’m telling you that it works. Unfortunately, most Western doctors do not agree. Western medicine tends to shit on alternative methods which have been practiced for centuries. I think it’s because it threatens their livelihood. God forbid there were other ways to heal and be healthy other than paying some HMO and waiting for a guy/gal in a white coat to tell you the deal. I had a former coworker who swore by acupuncture to relieve stress and promote health. She had a standing appointment. I’ve heard folks rave about Reiki for overall wellness.

You can grab a book and learn about reflexology or take a local course (side hustle!). Guys, how nice would it be to give your girl a foot rub that could relieve her physical pain and help stabilize her emotions? In the alternative, I’m sure ladies could reach down and hit themselves off.

In the event that you’re not down with all of that hocus pocus witch doctor medicine (lol), nothing beats the top two ways to ease cramps: 1. A good old heating pad placed right on your lower pelvic area and a couple of Motrin or 2. An orgasm. Look it up.


Filed under Health & Wellness

3 responses to “Baby, do you want a massage?

  1. Interesting how that works.

    I gotta nip my podophobia in the bud so I can be of some use to my future boo(s).

  2. What about the kitties? I’m dying every time I look at that picture!

  3. My cat used to roll up and knead my leg. I miss him, yo.
    I want a cat.

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