Dear Bald Men w/Ponytails,

Give it up.

I’m sitting in class right now behind TWO grown men with ponytails to the middle of their backs, yet they’re clearly balding in the front. One of them is more bald than the other; he has that bald spot in the center of the back of his head.

I just do not know why you insist on holding on to that hair. If you had a heart, you’d snip that thang and donate it to Locks for Love! I guess I just do not understand what it’s like for a man to lose their hair. It seems like Black men have a better time of it, because they’ll go Mr. Clean bald and still look cool. Think Shaft or Michael Jordan. White dudes go shiny-head bald and they’re suspect Neo-Nazis! This is not to say that Black men do not offend. I’ve seen cat daddies in those big ass zoot suits and greasy, slicked back ponytails.

I know that it’s hard sometimes to see yourself for what you really are. Look at Donald Trump. He has the most laughed at comb-over in the world but he’s still holding on to those 6 hairs. John McCain must have spent hours getting ready for the debate last week, making sure those bald spots were covered just right. The ponytail, though, just reeks of desperation.

So please, cut that shit off or kill yourself.


Filed under I'm Judging You (reviews & criticism), Now I'm pissed, Routine Ramblings

3 responses to “Dear Bald Men w/Ponytails,

  1. Oldheads rocking the jawn like Reverend X.
    Like hood Manchus and whutnot.

    Just let it go, fam.

  2. Somebody better tell Stevie Wonder because he’s in this category too. LOL

  3. OMG. Don’t even get me started on Stevie. I know people will stone me for it, but he is a serious offender!

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