Halloween

I love Halloween. It’s gotta be my top 3 favorite holidays. Top 2. Only comes behind X-mas because people don’t buy you stuff for Halloween. HOWEVER, it’s totally impermissible to dress as a zombie slut on Christ’s birthday. So kudos to Halloween for doing away with all those pesky rules.

I hope you participate and don a costume, whether homemade or store-bought. Don’t be a dickbag. Be safe. Have fun. Get wasted. Eat candy.
I might share a pic or two of my night… if they’re decent.

And if you’re in Philly, go to the parade for the World Series Champs – The Philadelphia Phillies at 12pm!

Online Dating

It all started with AOL. I remember that was my first real introduction to reaching out to other people via the internet. AOL chatrooms? SON! Those things were so much fun. You had to get used to the pace and become a “regular” before anyone would really talk to you. A/S/L? You know the routine. Run your stats and jump in the mix. Then there was Blackplanet. Oh goodness. Honestly, I never really got on BP too hard. I think I could tell early on that it was mostly for people trolling for ass. College Club. THAT was my shit! The chatrooms went slower than the ones over at BP and I liked the interface better. Those were all precursors to today’s online dating which is much more aggressive and streamlined (MySpace, Facebook, Match.com, Chemistry.com, etc).

I’ve had a few “relationships” with people I met or knew of primarily from online communication. While I think that online dating isn’t bad and really has opened up a new world of dating for many people, in retrospect it hasn’t worked out for me all too well. Let’s run down a few instances:

1. The first guy I met online, we’ll call him Frank. I met Frank on AOL my sophomore year in college. He went to a nearby school and we went out on a date. He was pretty cool and after that we talked all the time. Eventually, things transcended to a more-than-just-friends level, but didn’t go much further than that. Frank sorta became the person you call on in between relationships. We enjoyed each others’ company and above all else were good friends. It just never worked out that we ended up in a relationship. Eventually, though, Frank let me know that he DID want to be my man and that he wasn’t into being the in the meantime, in between guy. So we scaled things back significantly. I’d still say Frank and I are friends. We just don’t talk much now that I live in another state. Overall, I’d give that online relationship a B-.

Sorry, this racquetball court is occupied

it’s currently being used to film a remake of Beyonce’s new video, “Single Ladies.” Thanks for understanding. Come back tomorrow.

The chubby “beyonce” in the middle needs to do better. The tall boys on the ends shoulda recruited the tangy white dude dancing in his closet.

I know he’s a felon*, but so cute!

Look. I’m pretty much grown out of age where I dated “bad boys.” Actually, I didn’t really go through a bad boy phase. I just dated one guy who happened to sell drugs and went to jail. No biggie! The point I’m trying to get to is that T.I. is hella cute and his criminal record has no bearing on that whatsoever.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Maybe it’s just because he’s kuntry as all get out. I think back to the guys I dated while living in North Carolina for 6 years and sometimes moving back down there doesn’t seem like such a bad idea! I used to tease my ex Marcus about his Southern accent but in retrospect I loved it. To this day I try to get my NY girls to take trips with me down south so they can soak up all that honey-twanged goodness! LOL

Anyway, I like T.I. on Chelsea Handler’s show (she’s friggin’ hilarious, by the way). He was a good sport when it came to personal issues and he had a great sense of humor. Chelsea was dead on though – that smile and those teeth = beautiful!

*By the way, felons can still vote. T.I. voted already since Georgia’s an early voting state. Cute and politically conscious!

Harvard-Schmarvard

Swiped from the ABA Journal, idiot in search of “simpler life” burns his degree from Harvard Law School:

“Jack,” a Washington, D.C., a 30-something lawyer who announced on his blog in June that he is giving up his $300,000-plus annual salary and opting for a simpler life.

In Adventures in Voluntary Simplicity, Jack blogs about his excesses and exit strategies. Then on Oct. 27, he took a key symbolic step in that direction. He burned his Harvard law degree and posted a video on YouTube for all the world to bear witness.

“I’ve been thinking about doing this, in one way or another, for a while now. But I was never really sure if I would be doing it for the right reasons. Not to mention how silly it sounded whenever I brought it up to people. But this weekend it all came together: the weather was beautiful, the trails were inviting and freedom seemed just around the corner. So I went for it,” Jack writes.

“This is NOT a knock against Harvard. Or a calculated criticism of legal education. Or even a rejection of elitism, per se. Sometimes you just need to say goodbye to your past in order to move forward.”

In the end, he concludes, “it was just a piece of paper.”

That’s some privilege for you… burning up your degree means nothing. “Just a piece of paper,” is right. Nobody ever asks to SEE your degree. They can care less. It’s basically a big piece of vanity. A pat on your back. Mine hangs in my living room. When I get my JD, I’m sure I’ll put it in my office but that’s not necessary. If “Jack” ever wants to get another $300,000 gig, all he has to do is turn in his resume with Harvard, send in a transcript from Harvard or even say “Harvard” and he’s back. This is like Bill Gates burning $100,000. So the fuck what?

Rest assured, however, that I will NOT be burning my shit. All the blood, sweat and tears (literally. that’s not just a cliche) I put into these past three years will go into a nice little frame so everyone can see it and I can pat myself on the back.

Reading is fundamental

In class today, some chick made a comment that to have a bright and motivated child, you have to sit down and read to them. I immediately thought, “well, nobody sat down and read to me and I’m remarkably bright!” I think I’m sort of an anomaly though. While no one really sat down and read books with me, reading was always encouraged by example in my household.

I initially grew up with my grandmother and she loved to read romance novels. She had a bookcase full of paperback novels. Covers with long-haired men clutching porcelain-skinned women with heaving breasts in a castle. In elementary school I grabbed those books and would read them, devour them. Sure, it was fun because they had “grown-up” things inside but nothing too dirty. You kind of need some foundational knowledge of sex to begin with if you’re going to decipher lines like, “then he un-sheathed his powerful sword and impaled the center of my pulsing love.” Um, okay. If you’re not familiar with romance novels, you might not realize that they’re more than trashy books for housewives. The authors of those books research them like crazy. I learned so much about history since many of the books are set long, long ago.

The book fair at school was so much fun. Where else could you buy Judy Blume books, unicorn folders and kitten bookmarks? I loved getting those little paper leaflets a week before the book fair advertising what would be for sale. I’d take it home and circle what I wanted, then show it to my grandma who would give me the money. Then on the day of the book fair, our teachers would take us to the library where cases of books would be opened to display all the wares. Maybe I just liked buying something or maybe I just liked kitten bookmarks. I don’t know.

Then there was this bookstore called Bookworms. Sometimes my aunt, my grandpa and I would all go there. It was a place where you could take your used books and get credit to buy other books. There were tall shelves filled with paper- and hard-backed books. The best thing was they had two aisles dedicated to teen books. Man, I would spend time going all through the shelves picking up 4 or 5 books per visit. My favorite area was the Babysitters Club area. I don’t know if you know this about me, but I’ve read every single Baby Sitter’s Club book written up until 1996 (they stopped being published in 2000), including the Super Specials. I loved Ann M. Martin and her tales of the diverse babysitters in fictional Stonybrook, CT. I wrote Ms. Martin who wrote back telling me how to start my own club. I failed at that, by the way. There are no babysitter’s clubs in the hood. :(

While no one really told me it was important to read or sat down and read to me, reading was a valuable past time. Even my mom, who is anything but a model parental example, likes to sit still and read. I think that contributed to my love for books and for my thirst for knowledge. I like historical fiction, Asian fiction and books dealing with the immigrant experience. When I like someone, I usually buy them a book. Call me corny, but I think it’s romantic to lay in bed with someone and you both read quietly to yourselves. Nowadays, I have no time to read anything besides law books, cases and depositions. I think that will be one of the best things after the Bar – getting back to books.

I think in the future (when I’m out from under some of this education debt) I’d like to support public libraries. Become a patron of sorts. I’m kind of afraid for the future of institutions like libraries and I think they’re really important. Perhaps libraries need to do more to fit into today’s world and appeal to today’s youth but they ought not become relics. I still have library cards from Chapel Hill, Wake County and Brooklyn libraries. I need to cop one for the Philadelphia Free Library, while I’m talking.

What do you like to read? Do you have time to do it anymore?

Rain, rain go away

The World Series got rained out last night. I’m forced to wear a hood today because the wind is making it rain sideways. Silver lining – I’m wearing cute rain boots. I’m inspired to play some “rain” music.

SWV- RAIN

MISSY – The RAIN

NEW EDITION – Can You Stand the RAIN

Soul 4 Real – Candy Rain
Madonna – Rain
Milli Vanilli – Blame it on the Rain
Ashanti – Rain on Me
Jill Scott – Love Rain
Tamia – Rain on Me
Blu & Exile – Dancing in the Rain

I guess I’ve made this DV Monday

(see other posts here & here) which is not totally out of left field because a) I have an interest in the subject. b) October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. c) In light of current events affecting Jennifer Hudson’s family, it’s apropos.

You could probably file this entry under “duh,” but although it is seemingly obvious that certain bruises and cuts might be more visible on white/light skin as opposed to black/dark skin, this “discovery” could be important to how investigations are conducted. I’m just going to link this article and let it speak for itself.

Rape injuries harder to spot in dark-skinned women

Sexual-assault injuries may be tougher to detect in darker-skinned women — potentially putting them at a disadvantage in both the health and legal systems, according to researchers.

In a study of women who voluntarily underwent forensic exams after consensual sex, the researchers found that white women were significantly more likely than black women to have injuries to the external genitalia detected.There were no such differences, however, when it came to more internal injuries.

Quick note on Joe Biden & VAWA

Like the majority of Americans (and world citizens) I had never heard of Sarah Palin until she was announced as John McCain’s running mate. Never. When Barack Obama announced Joe Biden as his choice for VP, I wasn’t scratching my head thinking, “WHO?” I had heard of Joe Biden. A lot.

In my last full time job before law school, I worked at a domestic violence organization. There, I heard Senator Biden’s name many times in association with legislation and activism against domestic violence. People in my agency would talk about Biden like he was the greatest man ever. Whatever his faults, Biden was known to pay more than lip service when it came to violence against women. I had heard of Joe Biden again as I worked on a research paper for a class in law school. I wrote about the Violence Against Women Act and immigrant battered women. I got an A, by the way.

Peep this video from the Obama campaign highlighting Biden’s contribution to VAWA.

I think the young woman’s story in the video is particularly powerful because it shows how a woman can go for help, after being repeatedly terrorized, and still not be safe. No matter how many times I say it, people always think it’s so easy for a woman to just leave. Maybe coming from a victim/survivor’s mouth, it’ll sound a little different.

Be Bold: Women of Color Against Violence

On Thursday, October 30th, join survivors, allies, activists, organizers, bloggers, artists, sisters and friends in speaking out against violence against women of color.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Violence against women of color is a huge problem the world over. Here in the U.S., a newly released study reinforces what many of us already know, Black women in America are victims of crime at rates higher than our counterparts of other races. The Violence Policy Center’s report“When Men Murder Women: An Analysis of 2006 Homicide Data,”stated

The study stated there were 1,818 race-identified females murdered by males. And while white women accounted for the largest total of those killed–1,208–African American women were killed at a rate nearly three times higher.

Of those homicides where a murder weapon could be identified, 305 of the victims were fatally shot and most during the course of an argument. (Source Chicago Defender)

Women of color are hit harder by violence often because they already deal with issues that normally make it difficult to exorcise one’s self from a dangerous situation (i.e. economics, housing, family structure, education, and unemployment).