Dear LIT,

I hate you. I think you’re the worst drink ever. Before last night, I hadn’t drank a Long Island Iced Tea in years. Really, I think I had my last one in Chapel Hill around 2004. You know what happened? I was at a bar called The Library and they were charging a lot for top shelf liquor. So I said “fine” and let them make me a LIT with Well liquor. FAIL. My boy ended up holding my purse while I yakked up my guts in an alley on Franklin Street. That was also the same night I almost vomited on a cop’s shoes, but that’s another tale, isn’t it?

Vodka, gin, rum, tequila, triple sec, sour mix and a splash of coke. It really doesn’t taste that good and you’re likely to get shit-faced pretty quickly. I guess that’s what some people want, but I don’t know. The LIT screams immature drinker to me. I see someone order that and I immediately judge. Clearly they just don’t know what else to drink because if they had any bar knowledge whatsoever, they’d choose something way better. I put LIT orderers in the same box as people who still drink Amaretto Sours nonstop. Now, I can make a little room for people who just like those drinks a lot. I have a friend whose go to drink is the LIT. I wouldn’t say he’s 100% lame, but I will say that I don’t fully respect his drinking game.

Last night, I stopped to get a drink before going to catch a movie. I ordered a dirty martini, my boy ordered a LIT. He finished it and ordered another, but realized that he was already feeling some kind of way from the first one so he passed me the LIT to finish. Normally, I’d say no. But since it was my birthday, you kind of have to drink poured liquor. Besides, I was way more sober than I’ve ever been on my bday, so I drank it. Chugged it actually. I was trying to make a movie! I should note that homegirl who made the drink FILLED the glass up with liquor, leaving only about an inch of space in the glass for the sour mix and coke.

Let me tell you how that shit was disgusting. I can’t remember why I EVER drank that shit other than the fact that freshman year (when I drank them quite often), I didn’t know better. Didn’t know what ELSE to drink. Ugh. It was hella nasty. Anyway, here’s the tragedy – Seeing as I only ate one meal that day and was still exhausted from my Halloween partying, that martini and LIT hit my like a ton of bricks. Long story short, I had to pull the car over and regurgitate out of the door. Sexy, right? I fucking hate Long Island Iced Teas.

Now that my system is free of LIT residue, a few bullets about the wknd:

  • Halloween really IS a great holiday. Halloween this year was nuts because the Phillies World Series celebration parade fell on the same day. I wish I could put it into words, but you kind of just had to be there. I’ve been in the middle of crowds before and, last time Carolina won the Men’s NCAA Bball tourney, I thought I was going to DIE on Franklin Street in Chapel Hill. There were just so many people and in all of my years in the Triangle, I never saw anything like that. Welp, Philly topped that. Nearly 2 million people descended upon the city to scream “WHOOOOOOOOOOO!” They drank beer all day, climbed trees and bus shelters. Stopped traffic. They just went wild. To me, it looked like the end of the world. Bedlam. Armaggedon. The Apocolypse.
  • Dressed up as a boxer. Had fun at a Halloween house party. It was great to see nearly everyone show up in a costume. People really ought to have more house parties. You can get wasted for free, be in a safe environment with people you know and most likely have somewhere to crash in the event that you cannot take yourself home. Score!
  • Went out to brunch today. Told the guy who took me out that I’d mention it in my blog. Now that I’m finally getting to it though, I find that I don’t have much to say. Guess this will be incentive for him to do something more blog-worthy beyond telling me how sexy his voice is. LOL.


Filed under Now I'm pissed, Routine Ramblings, Um, ew

4 responses to “Dear LIT,

  1. Never had one. It looks like… I dunno.
    I’ve never heard anything great about Long Island, so I’m guessing it’s aptly named.

    …and LOL at the bul telling you how sexy his voice is.
    How he gonna give you swill, then brag about himself?
    He gotta give you more, homie…

  2. It’s crazy you writing about the LIT cause that was the first drink New Yitty wanted when we got to the party. I gotta say though, she drinks like a champ…no puking or passing out occurred, lol!!! Her remaining drinks were Apple Martinis so I guess that LIT was to get her up to flight level and the martinis just helped maintain the altitude….

    Glad that you had a great weekend BTW!!!!

  3. @ Hydro Look now, I don’t want you gettin the idea that I’m some sort of lightweight! I’d have done better with three times as many of any OTHER drink.
    Fucking trashy ass LIT! Hmph.

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