Flight

Flew to NC yesterday. Plane was packed and I sat in the very last seat, got the window at least. There was a little boy sitting next to me. His sister was in the opposite window seat and his dad was a couple of rows up. Some flight engineer or whoever (basically some negro in an orange reflective vest) boards the back of the plane and messes with some switches. He turns to the little boy and says “You’re not scared to fly alone?” The boy just shakes his head, “no.” Dude: “I’m scared to fly, I know that.” Kid: silence. Dude: “Supposed to be a lot of turbulence up there today.” This he says loud enough for the last 5 rows of the plane to hear.

What the fuck, man? I’m not afraid to fly at all, but a lot of people are. What kind of dick tells people on the plane that there’s turbulence and imply that they should be afraid? Especially when talking to a little kid? PARTICULARLY when you appear to be a person who would be privy to flight information! Ugh.

I used to like flying but now I don’t. Why? It’s not because of all the security hoops you have to go through, although I do suggest they put some seats at the end of the security check so you can put your shoes back on with some dignity and ease. I’m pissed because while flying on US Airways, I had to pay $15 to check my bag! They’re also charging $2 for sodas and juice! Okay. I know what the economy is like and it must be ridic to fill up a plane with gas. HOWEVER, I’m not going to fly your airline if you keep charging me for simple shit. I usually fly Southwest when I go to NC but I booked late and the available times didn’t work for me. Southwest doesn’t make you pay for that stuff. Really? Pay for my single bag?

The one good thing was the view above the sky. It was raining and grey when I left Philly. By the time we reached our full altitude, the sun was out above the clouds. It was so nice. I spent a good 20 minutes just staring out the window. I love clouds. When I was a kid, I used to love to lie down and look up at them, picking out shapes and watching them slowly glide by. I remember learning about clouds in school, the different types and how they make rain. No matter how much I learn, I still like to imagine clouds being made of cotton. Like soft pillows you could sit on if you could reach them. I never had that image of cherubs with harps on clouds. Just images of me lounging on one.

Hmm, what else was interesting about the flight? Oh, there were two huge people on the plane. One dude was humongous and had two seats to himself. I’m guessing he had to pay two fares. Some people think that’s not right, but those people are probably fat. If they’re not fat, then they probably haven’t sat next to a fat person on an airplane (or a bus/train for that matter). It’s simple to me: If I pay for my seat, I want my WHOLE seat. I don’t want you encroaching onto it with your saddlebags. I don’t want your heavy breathing to disturb my in-flight nap. Okay, that last part was extra. Let’s just focus on the seat encroachment. You know you can sue people if their land encroaches on yours? You can sue your neighbor because they built a fence 2 feet onto your property. I should have some remedy if an obese person is seeping into my window seat. Face it, those things are uncomfy enough and the tickets already cost a grip. If you’re going to take up two seats, you should pay for it. There was another woman who was large. I mean her calves were the size of my thighs and I don’t have lil ol’ thighs. She was sitting next to the little boy’s sister I mentioned earlier. I used my peripherals and saw her struggling with the seatbelt. I’m thinking damn shouldn’t they have a practice seatbelt in the waiting area, just to make sure you can fit it. If you can’t, you cannot ride. Safety first!

No matter what, I am still amazed that we can fly. It’s pretty cool, ain’t it?

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