“O” Yeah!

Telly was weird as hell, by the way. He clearly needed therapy.

Daddy Issues

A lot of folks are of the opinion that girls who grow up without their father’s presence have issues, particularly concerning other men in their lives. While I believe that is true for some, I don’t know if that’s particularly true for me at this point. Granted, there are some things I have little patience for that I can trace back to my father.

For example, I hatehatehatehate waiting on men. I don’t like being stood up. I don’t like people taking too long and not calling. I don’t like promises being made and then broken. Nobody likes that stuff but I think I get irrationally upset about stuff like that. I can remember being extremely excited whenever my father would say he was coming into town. His visits always meant lots of attention for me. He would take me out to eat, likely Red Lobster (and at that age and in my community, Red Lobster was doing it big!). He would buy me stuff. He would drive me around town in his nice car. Now that I think of it, it was always a big deal in my neighborhood when someone’s father came to visit. You kind of wanted to show your daddy off since most of us didn’t have fathers around. So when he would tell me he was coming I’d get ready super early and wait. There were a couple of times when I waited all day and all night. I kept running to the window when a car stopped outside. I kept my shoes on. I was ready to go. It’d get dark and my grandma would just look at me, she already knew it was a wrap. Ultimately, I’d figure out he wasn’t coming and go to bed pissed.

After that, I pegged him as unreliable and a liar and didn’t allow myself to get hyped up again only to be let down. Now, if a guy tells me he’s going to be somewhere and doesn’t show, I get upset like that little girl waiting at the window with her shoes on. Ugh.