Um, to all my readers who have children, I have a message for you. I really should have mentioned this before Christmas, but I think it applies all year round.
Do not buy your children a Jack in the Box. Be honest, the only reason you buy them is because you think it’s something kids should have. You had one, right? It only makes sense. No. Stop. The Jack in the Box is a cruel fucking toy, people. Think about it: your child is going to turn the little crank on a pretty colored box. A fun and familiar tune emanates from the box, “Pop goes the weasel!” Oh, your child doesn’t even understand what’s going to pop out at them. Then, right when they’re all comfortable with the pretty little music box, BAM!!!!!!!!! They’re scarred for the rest of their new life.
How do you expect your kid to ever trust you again? What kind of parent are you? Trying to give junior a heart attack before his little heartpiece grows into maturity?
Jack in the Box is not for your kids. Furthermore, on a semi unrelated note, Jack in the Box (the fast food) is not for YOU.