Tights

Less than a week in Tokyo and one thing I’ve observed is that females here LOVE to rock tights. Patterened tights, colored tights, whatever. I guess it allows them to wear those super short skirts in the winter. I know I love tights.  They can brighten up your wardrobe and help transition your wardrobe between seasons. Seeing all these tights made me think of a blog post my boy KH posted over at his blog Pulled from the Water. Check out this excerpt and then check out his spot when you get a chance. Funny dude.

SHIT I DO NOT WANT TO SEE IN 2009!

  1. TIGHTS- Look sweetie . . . I understand that you need something to keep ya legs warm under ya long ass shirt cute lil freak ‘um dress or whatever you wanna call it . . . but seriously . . . no . . . look at me when I’m typing at you! SERIOUSLY-Tights are not jeans! Okay . . . once or twice every two weeks is cool . . . But if you got on tights in every nightlife flick you took for the last month . . . and had them on more than three times last week when went out the house – hang urself! –

I’m even going to give you instructions on how to hang urself . . .

all you need to do is:

  1. take some of them tights – the ones you wear the most – yea the ones you think are jeans – yea they prolly not shiny no more like they supposed to be . . . yea dem ones!
  2. tie them around the ceiling fan . . . if you a short join and can’t reach the fan, make the tights into a lasso like a cowboy . . . you make an outfit out of them, so I know you can make a lasso out of ‘em.
  3. climb in a chair – the same way you climbed on this dick in the bed after ya nasty ass took off them tights you was wearing as jeans all last week to all the New Year’s Parties . . .
  4. tie the tights around ur neck – don’t make any funny faces when you put those nasty ass tights on neither. Yea . . . they stink . . . I know they do . . . unless you washed the tights ten times last week . . . I see why Beyonce said a “Diva is the female version of a hustler” because y’all rock these tights the same way West Philly niggas used to rock Dickie suits . . . every god-damn day! – Triflin tricks!
  5. jump out the chair – as much as y’all wear these damn tights I know they won’t tear! And if they do . . . the mission is accomplished YA DIRTY ASS CAN’T WEAR THOSE F’N TIGHTS ANYMORE!

As much as I like seeing y’all no panty wearing – booty like Judy- flusies rock them tights (but only in the house) PLEASE LET THEM DIE FOR 2009!

Whew. Sure am glad that I don’t over-rock my tights. BTW ladies, you CAN wash them jawns!

4 Comments

Filed under Routine Ramblings, Spotlights, Swiped

4 responses to “Tights

  1. slimjackson

    I really laughed heartily at you givin directions on how a chick can hang herself if she wears tights too often.

    S.M.H.

  2. LMAO! It’s about time someone put this epidemic on blast. And YES, I agree with you, tights can be washed. That’s why Woolite was invented…

  3. LOL… I don’t own one pair of tights. I was just thinking about copping some for the next two months, and well… I doubt I’ll do so. He’s funny… LOL…

  4. FeFe Fatale

    I have called fashion saavy by a lot of my friends. They even ask me for fashion advice. My last few tips have all been regarding hosiery. Here is my take:

    1. If its cold as shit outside, you look stupid as hell wearing a mini-dress with open toe shoes and no stockings. Tip: invest in some closed toe shoes for the winter and some high quality sheer pantyhose. The kind you would get from a bloomies, or macys.
    2. If you wear peep toe in the winter with no hosiery… do not have ashy feet. I actually suggest peep toe with a contrasting tight. Its trendy and cute.
    3. always get high waisted tights and control top if you need it. It will smooth out that line that’s created once the tights roll down
    4. DO NOT wear the same tights day after day. Esp if they are spanx or something. Its like wearing the same draws day after day.
    5. wash them in the sink with a ½ teaspoon detergent and hang them to dry.
    6. let the tights be your accessory if they are flashy. You don’t need every trend possible in one.
    7. if youre wearing leggings and a shorter shirt, please make sure that they are not see through and meant to be worn as tights. They should be thicker. And another thing, they are only made for perky undimpled bootys. (i.e. not everyone can waer them)

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