Bravo stays serving up some reality goodness and I’m eating it up. The network had the good sense to bring back the popular guilty pleasure Real Housewives of Atlanta for a second season. This time around though, producers ditched NBA wife DeShawn Snow because, well, she was boring as hell. Maybe that’s a credit to DeShawn because boring on this show means no drama, no secret sugar daddies or imaginary fashion lines. S2E1 brings us former Xscape standout, singer, songwriter Kandi Burruss. Not content to let Tiny (Tiny & Toya) get all the reality shine, Kandi has already been kicking up dust before the season premier due to alleged beef with RHoATL vet and fan fave Nene. So okay, on to the season premier!
Yes! Dwight showed up within the first 5 minutes! This season is awesome already! He came by Nene’s new crib (next to Lisa’s home) and hated on her drapes, fake plants and karaoke machine. Why is Dwight so damn sexual though? He spent last season talking about his “tool box” and how he has sex 3x a day. Now, while showing Nene how to pop the cork on a bottle of Champagne, he gets lewd… “Ease it off and let it come naturally. Put your hand on top and feel it. Come on Nene… Try it. Ooh it’s coming… Did you enjoy that?” Ooh boy, you so bad!
I just have to say I need to know who casts these shows and what did Big Papa pay them to let his sidepiece Kim get put on? I KNOW there are hotter white women in ATL. Kim figured she’d go to what looked like the local senior citizen’s center to speak to a psychic. Why homegirl needed a palm reader to tell her that Big Papa ain’t about shit is beyond me. Despite being called out repeatedly on the Season 1 reunion for her tacky wig, Kim is still rocking those Barbie locks 6 inches away from her real hairline! The nerve of some people!
I don’t know if we’re supposed to feel bad for Sheree having to move out of her foreclosed crib. The new house looks pretty damn swell to me. If Bob had a court order to pay, she should get that enforced retroactively. But I can’t really fault him for wanting to make her sweat. She spent all of last season talking crap about him and how she was going to squeeze 7 figures out of him! Who does she think she is? Kelis?
Sheree is a prime example of people reaching beyond their station. She could use a dash of StayInYoLane but instead wants to throw another party… with a Cleopatra theme… entering via helicopter… commissioning a poet to write about her. Wow. Oh, did I mention this is a party to celebrate her “independence” from marriage or men or who knows.
I don’t know much about football, but I’m going to take a leap and say that Ed is NOT getting picked up by a team. Sure, he’s in shape and I bet he was a good player in his prime but homie is looking kinda old for an athlete (31). Lisa for sure doesn’t want him to get picked up, especially because they’re talking about having more kids.
Loving having Kandi on the show (but not loving that Black Gal Blonde hair color). I always thought she was one of the most talented members of Xscape. We see her enter the show trying to get her acting chops going by doing the Pocketbook Monologues. Never heard of it, but it’s supposed to be the Vagina Monologues for Black folk. As a person who has performed in the Vagina Monologues (as the Angry Vagina, thank you very much Lisa!), I gotta see this bootleg version for myself. Wow @ Kandi’s fiance having 6 kids in the house with her 1 daughter. She’s annexing an fully fledged family! Interesting and looking forward to seeing how it plays out.
I thought it was nice to hear Kandi talk about how she felt some kind of way about perpetuating the cycle of single parenthood and her part in that. Question: are you really a single mom if you’re engaged?
How interesting that Nene, Lisa and Sheree seemed to have patched things up enough to throw the Power of Three shade at Kim at the InStyle party. Kim is consistently playing herself though, getting in her car and leaving after getting shook by Lisa’s mere presence. Real talk, I’m kind of scared of Lisa too. She’s strong as hell! Having Sheree and Nene back as friends (until further notice) is like when Mary J. Blige got happy. *Yawn* I liked it much better when they were in their Mary and K-Ci fighting phase. Much more entertaining.
Best moment of the episode has got to go to Sheree’s blowout with her party planner, Anthony. Someone finally told Sheree that they weren’t going to kiss her ass and tried to show her exactly where her lane was. Clearly, Sheree wasn’t with that, leading to a wild shouting match where homeboy exclaimed, “I EAT BITCHES LIKE YOU EVERYDAY!” There were so many expletives and curse words in that fight that I cannot even begin to type them all! YES! Super great first episode! Honorary mention goes to Kim. Because of her non-cancer mystery illness and subsequent hair loss, Kim is looking to start a wig line! She says she wants to do it for the people who are embarrassed to wear hair pieces and because while it has been acceptable for Black folk to wear weaves, poor white people must be persecuted for their wiggy ways! Newsflash: People don’t care that you wear a wig, Kim. We just hate that your wig looks so poor!
Final thought: Is this show just an opportunity to promote Kandi’s album. Must she sing ALL THE TIME?
Quote of the Ep: “Who gonna check me, boo?” – Sheree to Anthony