RHoATL, S2E3: Hair we go again!

Last week, Bravo hoodwinked us into watching as we anticipated a wig snatch-off of epic proportions. Who am I kidding, we would’ve been watching anyway!

This week picked up right where we left off… with Sheree, Nene and Kim arguing in a nice restaurant, causing a scene. After proclaiming “I’m gonna whoop her ass,” Sheree went after Kim. They shouted, got all up in each others’ faces and Sheree just TUGGED Kim’s wig. A tug?! Ugh, I’m so utterly disappointed! While Sheree tried to make a distinction between weave and wigs “I can’t take mine off like you can”), Kim called her out as a lazy gold digger trying to live off of her ex’s money. http://www.truthhurts.com. Real talk though… what kind of grown woman with class, status and self-respect gets into a shouting argument on the street? To deal, Kim called her friend (of 11 years), Jody, who drove from Alabama. I get the impression that Jody doesn’t want to be dragged into Kim’s madness and was focused on the free meal courtesy of Bravo (you know they’re treating!). How odd, though, because as far as we know, Kim has no friends outside of the Housewives.

I like Nene and all but I think she’s wrong in all of this. She’s trying to play all sides. Friends with Kim and then kee-keeing behind her back with Lisa and Sheree. She invited Kim out to talk and clear the air. Yet when Kim and Sheree were violating each others’ personal space, she made a lame attempt at breaking it up. To me it looked as if she was enjoying it, especially because she laughed about it with Lisa afterward. Anyway you slice it, it’s shady biz.

Always adding some much needed levity to the show, Dwight popped on screen planning a fabulous 50th birthday party with animals coming from the ceiling and half naked men and women painted like wildlife. In all seriousness, Dwight seems about his business when it comes to party planning. He wants his shrimp cold and crisp, his hot food steaming and the breasts pushed up! Sheree shouldn’t have been messing with that temper tantrum throwing planner she had and called Dwight! I love him so much!

Kandi (and that dreadful haircolor not found in nature) shows up at Dwight’s extravaganza, meeting him for the first time. He gives her the once over, felt up her boobs and inspected her feet. She passed. Kandi was making a first impression on Sheree as well who, for now, sees Kandi as a kindred spirit. I have a feeling that might change in the future.

When the housing market takes a downturn, there’s always a fashion line apparently. Lisa thinks she can best SHE by Sheree by coming out with her own fashion line called Closet Freak. Affordable ($300 and under) and conservative, yet sexy. Ohhhhhkay. Why not just open some laundromats in the SWATs and bank on them quarters? First order of business: Determining whether Nene is really a size 8 or ‘plus size’. Oop! Not to be outdone, Sheree is still pushing her line and being more “hands on” aka buying buttons and thread. Le sigh.

Pleasant surprise, we saw T-boz come on screen. Confession: Iused to pretend I was T-Boz when my girls and I would have sleepovers and sing TLC jams. Love her. Love her more for giving Kandi the screwface upon discovering he had kids by four different women. The two women chatted about an album T-Boz is working on. Hopefully it’ll do better than whatever the hell she had back when “Touch Myself” came out. If I still bought music, I don’t think I’d buy that mess.

Right when the show is coming near a close and I think Iv’e seen all there was to see, RHoATL doesn’t let me down. At Sheree’s housewarming party (aka show off your house so everyone knows you ain’t broke), her former model/former military pal Tania met Lisa and Nene. What started out as friendly banter and compliments turned into some low grade shade throwing. After conversation casually turned to Tania’s petite, size zero frame, Nene playfully offered to get her a sandwich. Snappy and ready, Tania replied something like “I have room to grow to get to your size.” Nene made a face like “I know this bitch ain’t slick call me fat!?” LMAO. I about died and clapped out loud. Before I could stop laughing, Tania struck again, telling Lisa she should do something with her hair. Lisa was like, no boo… you know you wish you had my hair. “Swimmer’s Hair” is what Tania called it, you know, as if someone were to push Lisa in the pool. LOL at how Lisa said no, no one would push her in the pool. Thank you Bravo.

Quotes of the episode: “Instead of going to the gym, I just go to the surgeon.” – Kim “Your melons feel wonderful, I like all these breasteses on me” – Dwight