you fall the way you lean

Just wanted to share a thought that I garnered from my Public Administration reading and professor centering on ethics. Having gone to law school and minored in philosophy in ugrad, I am familiar with many of the concepts in this chapter. Still, I believe this is applicable to everyone and all aspects of life, especially when put so simply: You Fall The Way You Lean.

Ethics is a tricky area, just ask anyone who has taken the MPRE (test for lawyers on ethics and professional responsibility).  People like to talk about it in this amorphous, philosophical way, and that has its place, but he basic problem is one of physics, not metaphysics.  If I balance my pencil on end, and tilt it slightly to the left, which way will it fall?  To the left.  And if I tilt it to the right, it’ll fall to the right.  That’s basically how your ethical decisions work.

Every day you make little ethical decisions–about how to treat coworkers or employees, about how to drive in traffic, about how hard to work, about what to include in your reports–and these little decisions shape who you are and how you think.  These decisions aggregate and gather so that one day, when you are confronted with an obvious, fully labeled ethical dilemma, the outcome is already determined.  You will fall the way you have been leaning. That’s why the most important thing about ethics is to know yours.

moved

Hey to all my wonderful, devoted, adoring readers (that’s how I see you in my mind, let me live the fantasy)! Been busy getting moved. Finally, step one to ending the Summer of Suck is complete – moving away from home. What was only supposed to be a temporary stop at my aunt’s crib turned into an entire summer of dealing with my crazy family. Patience is a virtue but I’ve never been the virtuous type so, ya know, I was bugging there. On to the next chapter…

I’ve moved to Brooklyn, Bed Stuy to be exact. Got me a roomie. While I was living alone in Philly, I had two roommates over in Japan (and two this summer if you count my aunt and uncle). So I can deal with the roommate situation again, especially because I’m sort of new to the area. I had lived in Brooklyn before, East Flatbush, but only for a short period of time. That has nothing to do with anything right now though, because I have no idea where I am really. So if you’re in the area and want to put me on to some stuff (or want to get wasted), let me know!

The move itself was possibly the worst move I’ve ever undertaken, and I’ve moved a lot (from NY to Chapel Hill to Carrboro to NYC to Cary to Raleigh to Philly to Tokyo to NY to BK). It all started with renting the truck. I reserved a 10ft truck which was totally sufficient but when I got to the office, they only had 16ft trucks available. Ok, not only was there more room in the back, but the thing was taller and significantly bigger. See specs here. Whatever though, bigger is sometimes better and I was getting the bigger truck for the price of the smaller one. Lesson #1: Trucks are not like Value Meals. It is not always a better deal to go for the bigger option. So I’ve got my buddy Ihsan with me and we pull out of the rental lot heading toward my storage unit all set to load up and drive to BK. I swear, not three minutes away from the lot, before I even get a good radio station on, I hear this loud ass crackBOOM! OMG! I turn to the right and there’s no mirror on the passenger side! I have somehow knocked off the damn mirror! Driving ahead of me, Ihsan must have seen what happened and I saw him signal a side street for pulling over. After determining what happened and taking a few deep breaths, Ihsan walked back a couple of blocks to retrieve the mirror. The plastic mirror casing thing was intact, but the glass was all gone. It’s important that I mention that I am a good driver. I have driven a 10ft truck about three different times in my life with no incident whatsoever. So you can imagine how I felt at this point.

RHoATL, s2e9: Get yo hands out my pocketbook!

Tonight was the 2-hour season premiere of Grey’s Anatomy and I’ve never missed an episode so I had to skip the 10pm ep of Real Housewives and wait for 11. Still, as much as I love Grey’s, I HAD to get my catty chick fix and share my impressions of this week’s ep with you all. Don’t blame me for being tardy for the party!

Fresh from a trip to the Bahamas, courtesy of Big Papa, Kim is reevaluating her relationship. I learned something new, that “Security” is the new word for staying with a married man so he can put your kids through college. Oh, ok. Kim is schizo because on the one hand she said she didn’t care about Big Papa’s marriage since it was just a legal thing with no meaning. Then, not 4 seconds later, she says she wants him to put a ring on it. Will the other woman EVER learn? While waiting for her symbol of everlasting love, Kim will settle for Papa’s money and $32,000 gold necklace. When the jeweler remarked that the necklace was “red carpet material,” Kim said she’d wear it to the grocery store. See, heifer, that’s why you’re tacky. Cuz real classy women who don’t make a big deal about $32,000 pieces don’t go traipsing around the Piggly Wiggly trying to stunt out, either.

Sheree doesn’t do anything but plan dreadful parties and unfortunately, she’s blissfully unaware of that fact. She’s moving full steam ahead on the Independence Party idea to celebrate her divorce and her new found freedom. Go on girl! Always on her endless quest to include herself in this amorphous “elite” class, Sheree commissioned a portrait of herself. Wow, bitch. You are high off of the fumes of your own shit. It doesn’t help that Lawrence, your hairdresser tells you that you look like an 18 year old. Cue Joe Wilson…”You Lie!” Truth be told, Rossin‘s work is nice. He made Sheree look 20 yrs younger and 4x more attractive! Question: What is she going to do with that big ass portrait? Hang it in the bedroom? Yep, like I said… feelin herself.

Brick City

I’ve been watching the Sundance Channel’s miniseries Brick City about the struggle of Newark, New Jersey’s mayor and residents to live in the city and bring it out of crime, poverty and despair into the city of progress and hope it once was. According to the Sundance Channel,

Created and directed by the award-winning filmmakers Mark Benjamin and Marc Levin, BRICK CITY, is a five-part documentary series that fans out around the city of Newark, New Jersey to capture the daily drama of a community striving to become a better, safer, stronger place to live. Against great odds, Newark’s citizens and its Mayor, Cory A. Booker, fight to raise the city out of nearly a half century of violence, poverty and corruption. In the five one-hour episodes of BRICK CITY the lives of Mayor Booker, citizens on the front lines, and key figures re-making the city – from developers to gang members and youth mentors – intertwine in a portrait of a city at a critical moment in history.

Creep & Jayda

This is true reality television, minus the roses, foxtrots, hot tubs and eliminations. Episodes 1 & 2 introduced us to the shows dynamic personalities. There’s Mayor Cory Booker in his second term, Police Director Gary McCarthy, Earl Best aka Street Doctor, a community advocate, and then there’s the story of Jayda and Creep. I bet viewers will be sucked into the couple’s story because it’s so real, gritty and unusual. Jayda’s a former member of the Bloods gang and Creep is an ex-Crip. The story of these star-crossed lovers is like a real-life Romeo & Juliet or Westside Story. It’s captivating seeing them turn their experiences into positive messages mentoring Newark’s youth, but there’s also real drama in their relationship with one another.

untitled

Ten years later, my reaction to this video is the same as when I first saw it in my dorm room freshman year (holla 404 E-haus, UNC’s South Campus!) with my roomie and my bestie. We three were jaw jacking about something when the video came on my roomie’s 13in television. All conversation ceased. I was sitting cross-legged on the top bunk, roomie was sitting on her bed, and bestie stood in the middle of the room. All three, mesmerized and silent. All three, breathing in sync with him. We were the ultimate voyeurs, peeking in on an intimate moment with a man we could have built from all of our favorite parts. It wasn’t raunchy. It wasn’t vulgar. It was sexy in the way romance novels try to be with all of that grand, overly-descriptive language.

Not until the video went off were we able to start talking again. There was about a 10 second delay and we all snapped out of our trances and laughed. Real talk, some kind of Lex Luthor, Dr. Doom, Magneto, Boris & Natasha, or Dr. Evil could have put his world domination propaganda into that video and we would have willingly done their bidding. I still really can’t tell you what the lyrics are or what the song’s about because I don’t really *hear* it. SMH.

strong women, strong world

Bill Gates Sr. (dad to richie rich, Bill Jr.) made the following comment while reviewing the book, Half the Sky:

When a man partners with a strong woman, everyone benefits…. What I find remarkable is that more men around the globe don’t realize how much stronger they would be if partnered with a strong woman. Way too often and in too many corners of the globe, women are denied the opportunity to reach their full potential. It’s wrong and it’s backward, and of course, the irony is that by keeping women down, men lose out too.

The book, and the movement, seek to illustrate how educating and empowering women can help fight poverty and extremism. Seems like a simple notion, right? Reminds me of the oft repeated quote by Ban Ki-moon, UN Secretary General,

Achieving gender equality and empowering women is a goal in itself. It is also a condition for building healthier, better educated, more peaceful and more prosperous societies. When women are fully empowered and engaged, all of society benefits. Only in this way can we successfully take on the enormous challenges confronting our world…

These aren’t just cool quotes and soundbites. It’s the plain truth. Strong women make up the foundation for strong communities. That is why I cannot understand why some continue to dis-empower women and perpetuate patriarchal/misogynist policies. If you think women aren’t that important and occupy a second-class status, there might not be much success in convincing you otherwise. Still, misogynist, racist, classist, whoever and whatever you hate, I doubt that you hate money too. That’s why it sometimes helps to show people the bottom line results of their bigotry. Why do you think suing people helps? Getting folks in the pockets is a great persuasive technique. So what ‘s the bottom line when it comes down to empowering women?

RHoATL, S2E8: Mama I’m not wantin’ to sing

Snarky housewives on deck! Let’s go!

What is wrong with Sheree’s trainer? When he first popped on the show he seemed like a normal personal trainer, getting folks in shape while sitting on his ass. After the first commercial break, homeboy enters with a studded leather vest and a banana sling for his frank and beans! What kind of bootleg “fitness modeling” bullshit is this? Looks like Chippendales… for men.

These chicks will have a party for anything. After taking those alter-ego photos with Derek Blanks, the ladies are prepping for a black-tie event to reveal the pics. I’m going to let out a big who cares right here. I expect this kind of behavior from the likes of Nene and Sheree but really, who besides the women on the show is attending this party? I’ve been to Atlanta and every other week there’s a new hot spot opening up. Hell, it’s even popping at the mall. So why, folks, would any self-respecting person go to a fancy party to see some pics that will be up on Google Images in less than 24?

As expected, a bunch of nobody negroes showed up to this “party” to see some C-list reality celebrities’ airbrushed photos. Whoo. Walking through that “Who’s who” of Atlanta Society, Kim must have been too dazzled by all of the fabulocity in the room and she bust her ass down three patio stairs. It did look rather nasty with several scratches on her knees and shin but the party is not going to stop because some white girl done fell down the stairs. Or maybe it will. EVERYONE gathered around the SUV and moved the party outside! Wow! What a perfect opportunity to preview the new hit song, Tardy for the Party! Hahaha! Yall, that display by Kim was the worst, most pitiful bullshit I’ve ever seen. She is crazy. What grown woman acts like that? You fall, you get up. If it’s serious, well you have someone take you to the hospital. You dont get carried around like Cleopatra to view your subpar alter-ego photoshoot in the DRIVEWAY! Jesus be a gurney!

is spanking okay?

A new study from the Center for Child and Family Policy at Duke University found that children who are spanked as 1-year-olds are more likely to behave aggressively and did worse on cognitive tests as toddlers than children who were not spanked. The study focused on low-income families and found that African-American children are spanked more than their white and Mexican counterparts. I have no love for Duke but I guess they have some pretty decent researchers there. Still, I don’t think, from personal experience, that children who are spanked are more aggressive BECAUSE of the spanking and not the other factors in their lives. Even if the toddlers are performing below their un-spanked peers, I wonder how they compare when they’re teens and adults. The latter part, Black kids being spanked more, is not surprising to me at all. Many a comedian has based their routine on spanking Black children. We get together and laugh about this shared experience. We see kids acting up in school or in the store and shake our heads thinking he or she needs their butt whooped. Not all Black folks spank their kids but there is definitely cultural acceptance and encouragement of the practice within the community.

There was spanking in my family. Physical discipline was definitely on the menu but it wasn’t the main course. I’m definitely against violence in most forms. It’s criminal and inhumane to abuse a child, a spouse, a friend, a stranger… It’s not the way I want to live my life, being violent toward others. I don’t know if this makes me a hypocrite but I don’t consider spanking to be “violence” in the same way. Truthfully, I have more of an issue with some of the verbal punishment I hear hurled at children than the physical. I feel there is a certain way to use physical discipline for punishment or correction with children. That being said, I don’t see myself using spanking as a disciplinary method very often when I do have children of my own.

Miss Piggy

this is the kind of random stuff you’ll get messing with me but seeing Kermit the Frog show up to the MTV Video Music Awards with Lady Gaga made me wonder, “Where’s Miss Piggy?” Miss Piggy really should make more appearances. Out of all the muppets she had mad pizazz and a pretty fly fashion sense that would stomp out any pig (I see you Babe, I see you Wilbur) and half the hussies walking around the streets right now! Homegirl had attitude AND she was a martial arts master! Or maybe just really good at saying “HI-YAHH!” Whatever. Swinetastic is all she is. My only issue with Piggy was how clingy she got when it came to Kermy. She was constantly throwing her bodacious bacon at his skinny frog legs and he was always giving her the heisman! Reminds me of Carrie (SATC) or Joan (Girlfriends)… fabulous, successful women who feel incomplete without a man. Le Sigh. I still got love for Piggy. She’s truly a bourgie boar broad.

Anyway, Kermit kind of played himself rolling with Gaga after she basically wore a coat of his carcasses out and about. WTF Kermy?

Spotlight: SaltPepperGarlic

SaltPepperGarlic is a nonprofit catering company run by a sister/brother team, Jasmine & Nathaniel Baker, to raise funds to cover Nathaniel’s tuition at the Culinary Institute of America.  Like many other families, the Bakers are struggling in this economy and have had to get creative to fund their education. According to their FB site, Nathaniel is the #1 junior chef in Delaware, and #14 in the country! This man wants to cook and deserves that CIA education!

I stumbled upon SaltPepperGarlic via a Facebook pal’s profile. Working on my second post-grad degree, I know all about trying to pay for school. I’m also from Poughkeepsie, NY and the Culinary Institute (although in Hyde Park) is part of my neighborhood, about 15 min from where I grew up. I know it’s a great place to go to school.

It’s great that this family has come together with a unique idea – Utilize Nathaniel’s talent. Cater some corporate lunches and other meals. Use the money to pay for the semester. The goal is to raise at least $2,500 to start the semester on September 29th and then to raise up to an additional $8,500 for the remainder of the semester.

When I start working at my new gig, I’m going to suggest that we order lunches from SaltPepperGarlic. For those of you who currently work in the NYC area, check out the menu of soul food favorites. You and your coworkers have got to eat anyway, right? At present, the Bakers are focused on office lunches in Manhattan & Brooklyn from 12pm – 6pm. If you’d like to arrange something outside of that time/location, contact them (spg.catering@gmail.com) and see what you can work out.