My Tiger Woods Post

Do you know how there are some people, no matter what they generally do, you just won’t get upset with them? I feel that way about Sean PDiddy Combs. I feel that way about Beyonce. I feel that way about Tiger Woods. For now. There’s no telling how this story is going to develop, and it seems to be developing every 12 hours, but right now I really don’t see what the big honking deal is about Tiger Friggin Woods.

Yes. That man cheated on his wife. Can’t say that I’m surprised and no, it is not right. Let me reiterate, it is not right and I do not condone cheating on your spouse no matter who you are and how much money you have. When it comes to Tiger cheating on his wife and the mother of his children, Elin, I think she and their family should be very upset. Should *I* be very upset? Nope. Disappointed? Why?

Tiger Woods is a celebrity, yes. While I’m not one who looks to celebs and athletes as role models, I understand that many people do. Therefore I expect them to live up to that burden as best they can. But come on, humans are going to fall short EVERY TIME. Why are we so surprised that Tiger Woods has the same kind of vices and failings that most of us battle with on the daily?

I had to shake my head for real when I came across Ta-Nehisi’s blog today. I saw he posted an excerpt from the AP. Apparently, “journalists” say that Black people are pissed that Tiger didn’t cheat with any sistahs. Huh? One of the world’s greatest mysteries is not “why are we here” but “will white people EVER know what Black folks think about anything in the entire universe?” I’m no spokesperson for Black people (though I do have a degree in African-American studies which probably qualifies me for something, if only in my mind), but I’m going to take a stab at it and say that we don’t give a fuck.

When Tiger Woods first burst out onto the national scene, we were like, “yo, that’s a Black dude playing golf. Funky fresh!” (no, we didn’t say that last part). He was brown and his dad was clearly a Black man. His mom was Asian… so what. (See Wesley Snipes. Who’s blacker than him?). Even when he came out with that Cablinasian hulabaloo we still said, “whatever, joe. that fool Black,” and continued to cheer for him. Tiger’s victories were our victories even when we didn’t tune in to the Masters or the Opens. When he married a blonde Swedish nanny we were not surprised. Not because we thought he was some sort of self-hating sellout, but because that’s pretty much expected when you grow up around white folks in a sport dominated by white folks. Plus she’s hot (if you’re into that sort of thing). So I ask you, dear readers, why the hell would ANYONE be surprised that he was cheating with 7, 8, or 9 blonde white broads? What would have been a heart-stopper would be Tiger dipping out on Elin with a Jill Marie Jones, Regina Hall or Malinda Williams type (all beautiful, btw). No wonder new media is taking over if this is what J-schools are cranking out these days. Do better AP. Matter of fact, do better all traditional news outlets.

More on the news… I watch every morning as I get ready for work. I may as well turn to TMZ since that is where Fox5, ABC, CBS, etc get their info from. The news is full of speculation. Like Chris Rock said, they’re just making things up, not reporting what happened! I can’t deal. They were reporting this “story” before it was actually a story. They harassed Tiger to make him give a statement when one wasn’t necessary. They’re exploiting what ought to be a private family matter. Dude is losing endorsements. I could go on about those endorsements, but all I’ll say is that Gatorade, Nike, American Express and whoever else cuts him a check might need to check themselves before they riggidy wreck themselves. If wholesome family man is a requirement for an endorsement, they’ll have to pull out of business altogether.

Look yall, I don’t want to hear that Tiger and Elin had a violent relationship. I don’t want to hear that he hurt her emotionally or any other way. Nor her, him. If those things happened, I want the law to get involved where necessary and for use to be spared the rest. Must I know what Tiger says in nasty voicemails to his sidepieces. God no! Maybe I’m missing something, but why is this newsworthy? Why is this an opportunity to comment on how Black Tiger is? Le sigh.

Paging Dr. Shanté

I’m not going to rehash the whole story here because it’s all over the webz, but when I heard how the feel good/made it out the hood story about former teen rapper, Roxanne Shanté, getting her record company to pay for her education (including an Ivy League Ph.D. in Psychology) turned out to be false, I wasn’t surprised. Not in the least. Oh, not that I thought a rapper from Queens couldn’t have accomplished such things…

That's Dr. Danielle Spencer now... as if she'd let you call her Dr. Dee Thomas!

I BEEN knew something was wrong because the Daily News article on this unique record contract and amazing rapper-turned-doctor referred to her as Doctor Shanté. People were repeating that mess on blogs, message boards, twitter and facebook. Dr. Shanté. Really? Um, wasn’t Roxanne Shanté your RAP name, one you dreamed up after hearing UTFO go in on some stuck up chick named Roxanne? How am I supposed to take you seriously when I’m seeking out a therapist and she’s going by her RAP MONIKER? Sure, we still call Queen Latifah “Queen Latifah” but she hasn’t left show business so it’s allowed. I bet if she were to become a surgeon or an attorney we’d call her Dr. Owens, Dana Owens, Esq.

All types of folks are known to fudge their resume and trump up their credentials and it’s pretty much accepted. Flat out lying about where you went to school and what degrees you’ve earned, however, is a douche move. It makes you look silly in the end and it’s an embarrassment that will stick with you forever. People like myself, working on 2nd and 3rd advanced degrees don’t appreciate it Ms. Shanté! It’s not like people go around telling everyone they’re rappers (oh, wait. nevermind. Anyhood, USA proves me wrong on that front).

It’s just that we would have always thought of little 14 year old Roxanne Shanté in her slicked back ponytail and doorknocker earrings rapping with the big boys and smiled. Now that she got our hopes up by faking the funk, people are let down and a bit peeved. If there’s one thing the hip hop community doesn’t tolerate, it’s a liar.

Hold up now. ALLEGED liar, because maybe she really did get those degrees. Maybe she is a psychiatrist that uses hip hop to heal her patients. Perhaps there was a mix up with the name she used to enroll (clearly, she’s not good at sticking with one name). It’s possible the record company wants to deny paying that money to save face and just maybe a couple of somebodies at Marymount Manhattan and Cornell have it out for the good rappin doctor. Slate could have it wrong just as easily as the Daily News. Even Russell Simmons is cosigning her! Gooden/Shante doesn’t seem to be fazed, though. As of last Thursday, her Twitter page was still posting links to articles like the Daily News piece (@DrShante. Hmph…if it’s her real twitter account). It doesn’t really matter to me how it turns out because either way, she’s still dead wrong running around as Dr. Shanté.

Today in “Not New News”

People are getting into college because of political connections!

*Yawn* and water is wet. Somehow, this is still making news. The governor of Illinois has convened a commission to look into admissions practices at University of Illinois’ three campuses. Although the commission is not empowered to fire anyone, at least two UofI trustees have resigned. Allegedly, the trustees greased the admission wheels for hundreds of “politically connected” students sponsored by donors, elected officials and trustees themselves.

While folks are out there calling for an end to affirmative action or so-called “reverse discrimination”, they’re noticeably silent when it comes to this type of preferential admission. For more, check out the story at the Wall Street Journal.