My Tiger Woods Post

Do you know how there are some people, no matter what they generally do, you just won’t get upset with them? I feel that way about Sean PDiddy Combs. I feel that way about Beyonce. I feel that way about Tiger Woods. For now. There’s no telling how this story is going to develop, and it seems to be developing every 12 hours, but right now I really don’t see what the big honking deal is about Tiger Friggin Woods.

Yes. That man cheated on his wife. Can’t say that I’m surprised and no, it is not right. Let me reiterate, it is not right and I do not condone cheating on your spouse no matter who you are and how much money you have. When it comes to Tiger cheating on his wife and the mother of his children, Elin, I think she and their family should be very upset. Should *I* be very upset? Nope. Disappointed? Why?

Tiger Woods is a celebrity, yes. While I’m not one who looks to celebs and athletes as role models, I understand that many people do. Therefore I expect them to live up to that burden as best they can. But come on, humans are going to fall short EVERY TIME. Why are we so surprised that Tiger Woods has the same kind of vices and failings that most of us battle with on the daily?

I had to shake my head for real when I came across Ta-Nehisi’s blog today. I saw he posted an excerpt from the AP. Apparently, “journalists” say that Black people are pissed that Tiger didn’t cheat with any sistahs. Huh? One of the world’s greatest mysteries is not “why are we here” but “will white people EVER know what Black folks think about anything in the entire universe?” I’m no spokesperson for Black people (though I do have a degree in African-American studies which probably qualifies me for something, if only in my mind), but I’m going to take a stab at it and say that we don’t give a fuck.

When Tiger Woods first burst out onto the national scene, we were like, “yo, that’s a Black dude playing golf. Funky fresh!” (no, we didn’t say that last part). He was brown and his dad was clearly a Black man. His mom was Asian… so what. (See Wesley Snipes. Who’s blacker than him?). Even when he came out with that Cablinasian hulabaloo we still said, “whatever, joe. that fool Black,” and continued to cheer for him. Tiger’s victories were our victories even when we didn’t tune in to the Masters or the Opens. When he married a blonde Swedish nanny we were not surprised. Not because we thought he was some sort of self-hating sellout, but because that’s pretty much expected when you grow up around white folks in a sport dominated by white folks. Plus she’s hot (if you’re into that sort of thing). So I ask you, dear readers, why the hell would ANYONE be surprised that he was cheating with 7, 8, or 9 blonde white broads? What would have been a heart-stopper would be Tiger dipping out on Elin with a Jill Marie Jones, Regina Hall or Malinda Williams type (all beautiful, btw). No wonder new media is taking over if this is what J-schools are cranking out these days. Do better AP. Matter of fact, do better all traditional news outlets.

More on the news… I watch every morning as I get ready for work. I may as well turn to TMZ since that is where Fox5, ABC, CBS, etc get their info from. The news is full of speculation. Like Chris Rock said, they’re just making things up, not reporting what happened! I can’t deal. They were reporting this “story” before it was actually a story. They harassed Tiger to make him give a statement when one wasn’t necessary. They’re exploiting what ought to be a private family matter. Dude is losing endorsements. I could go on about those endorsements, but all I’ll say is that Gatorade, Nike, American Express and whoever else cuts him a check might need to check themselves before they riggidy wreck themselves. If wholesome family man is a requirement for an endorsement, they’ll have to pull out of business altogether.

Look yall, I don’t want to hear that Tiger and Elin had a violent relationship. I don’t want to hear that he hurt her emotionally or any other way. Nor her, him. If those things happened, I want the law to get involved where necessary and for use to be spared the rest. Must I know what Tiger says in nasty voicemails to his sidepieces. God no! Maybe I’m missing something, but why is this newsworthy? Why is this an opportunity to comment on how Black Tiger is? Le sigh.

hoodwinked

I’m pretty disgusted right about now. I was asleep, knocked out due to my sickness and woke up at midnight to find that the House had passed a health care reform bill (HR 3962). Sounds good at first, especially since we have been trying to get SOME form of legislation moving through the process. Unfortunately, this is not what I was hoping for. I get the feeling that most people had/have no idea that today, in what felt like a backdoor sneak move, Representative Bart Stupak put forth an amendment on a Saturday morning to the proposed health care bill. Oh, it got passed, by the way. What is this bill that you probably didn’t know was even being discussed?

“The Stupak/Pitts amendment violates the spirit of health care reform, which is meant to guarantee quality, affordable health care coverage for all. In fact, this amendment would create a two-tiered system that would punish women, particularly those with low and middle incomes, the very people this bill is intended to assist. The majority of private health insurance plans currently offer abortion coverage, and the Stupak/Pitts amendment would result in the elimination of private abortion coverage in the ‘exchange,’ the new insurance market created under health care reform, as well as in the public option, if one is created.

“The Stupak/Pitts amendment would purportedly allow women who want comprehensive reproductive health care coverage to purchase a separate, single-service rider to cover abortion.  But such abortion riders do not exist because women do not plan to have unintended pregnancies or medically complicated pregnancies that require ending the pregnancy.  These so-called ‘abortion riders,’ which would be the only insurance policy through which abortion care could be covered in the ‘exchange,’ are discriminatory and illogical.  Proposing a separate ‘abortion rider’ or ‘single-service plan’ is tantamount to banning abortion coverage since no insurance company would offer such a policy.*

Take some time. Read that again. How ridiculous is that? While folks were on Twitter talking about brunch, football and #threewordsaftersex, anti-choicers were hijacking health care reform and using this opportunity to revolutionize American health care as a stage for their anti-abortion agenda. Dude… not here. Not this fight. SMH. Don’t be mistaken, taking away abortion coverage (in both private insurance plans and the public option) will not deter people from having unprotected sex. It will not result in a significant decline in abortions sought or performed. It will not only hurt the people you think it might hurt.

Abortion is legal. Until Congress passes a law otherwise (that passes Constitutional scrutiny by the Supreme Court), it is legal. I can’t get hype about HCR, and trust me I WANT to be so hype about HCR, when people are trying to use the backdoor to chisel away at my rights. It’s sneaky and I don’t want my government to work that way. Please believe that the NRA folks would not be down for this. You see how they get when someone even breathes gun control. The Second Amendment gets trotted out like it was the 11th Commandment.

I took a Legislation & Public Policy course in law school. I’m currently taking Politics & Policy in my MPA program. Even without those classes, I know some BS okey doke when I see it. Game recognize game, right? This is a CLASSIC example of how you get a piece of legislation to FAIL. Instead of coming out and saying no to HCR (which will make you look bad, for sure), you say yes but also get on board with an amendment that will alienate so many people that it’s sure to bring down the whole house. This is some back to the drawing board shit if I’ve ever seen it, yet so many folks are just happy to have something, I bet they won’t raise a fuss. You are so used to accepting crumbs from the gov’t that you’re not willing to fight for what you believe in. Meanwhile, those that are AGAINST what you believe in are up ALL night, working hard. No, really. They’re up ALL night. Crazy does not sleep. But listen yall, don’t drink the kool aid. This is not the HCR we want. It’s the HCR we’re settling for.

Find out how your representative voted on the Stupak/Pitts Amendment. If they were on board with the amendment and you are not, please call your rep and let them know how poorly they’ve represented you this weekend.

Definitely hit up your Senators. Ball’s in their court now.

*Cecile Richards, President, Planned Parenthood Federation of America
Read the whole statement here.

part of the problem

Post-Gazette

We have become so accustomed to living in a society saturated with misogyny that the barbaric treatment of women and girls has come to be more or less expected.

We profess to being shocked at one or another of these outlandish crimes, but the shock wears off quickly in an environment in which the rape, murder and humiliation of females is not only a staple of the news, but an important cornerstone of the nation’s entertainment.

– Bob Herbert, “Women at Risk” NYT Column, 8/7/09

a thought on Tiny & TIP

After dropping T.I. off at the prison, Tiny lays out in the towncar

While watching BET’s Tiny & Toya, I thought to myself, “geez, I hope we don’t spend the rest of the season listening to Tiny whine about T.I. being in jail.” Shortly after having that thought, I started to think about it outside of a reality show context. To me it’s just another “storyline” in a television show I watch occasionally. To her, the head of their family and the love of her life is gone for a year and a day. While she’s trying to maintain a normal life down in Atlanta, GA, T.I. is on ice up in Forest Hills, Arkansas. Normal life might be a bit of a stretch. She’s in front of the cameras on her own reality show. She’s dealing with a father who is steadily losing it due to Alzheimer’s Disease. She’s struggling with resurrecting a singing career. Those things alone would be enough to stress out any one of us. Tiny, though, is shouldering a burden that many women of color carry at some point in their lives… losing a man to prison/jail.

they don’t dance no mo’

At least not like Michael J. Jackson did. Oh, they try (I see you Chris Brown, Usher, Timberlake).

I don’t do RIPs (I’ve said that before) so I won’t start now. I’m just like damn, really Mike? While we all know about the tabloid chatter that’s attached itself to Mike’s legacy, it can’t really tarnish it. I wrote that fool R. Kelly off for his BS but that’s because he’s an asshole and his music wasn’t that great to begin with. Whether Mike “did it” or not, I always felt a combination of awe and pity for him. When they showed him wildin on TV there was a cloud of sadness about it all. Still, no matter what stage of my life (because MJ was there ever since I can remember hearing music), I could always groove to his music. My friends know that I’ve always wanted to be a dancer and I feel the most free and happy when I’m channeling music through my body. Michael Jackson was a bad ass dancer, even making the crotch grab/gyration cool. Musically, he was something like a genius, his voice true and clear when he was a boy… emotive and real as an adult.

So fuck all the BS. There will never be another and I’m glad I got to experience the man. Now I just gotta get my collection together so my children will have a proper education.

At a time when everyone is playing Mike’s music and blogs all over the net are featuring playlists and vids, I’m gonna share a video that most people might not readily choose. This was/is my jam:

Michael Jackson
August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009

Another downer about the legal job market…

Swiped from the National Law Journal,  just a perspective on the legal job market for the public-interest (aka, me). A bit long, BTW.

Public-interest sector getting a little crowded

Karen Sloan
June 01, 2009

Sending incoming associates into temporary public-interest jobs — with a healthy stipend to cover their costs of living — is intended to be a fiscally smart and compassionate way for law firms to handle an overabundance of young attorneys in this dismal economy.

But some recent law school graduates who have spent years preparing for public-interest careers worry that law firms are hurting their job prospects by flooding the already competitive public-interest job market. They say they resent the suggestion that deferred law firm associates can step into a public-service role without, in many cases, having worked with indigent clients in law school clinics or completed internships with nonprofit legal organizations.

“Deferred associates are getting congratulated for going to public-interest organizations in the final hour and being so generous, while the people who were planning on working at these organizations throughout law school and have demonstrated a commitment are forgotten again by the legal establishment,” said Jane Fox, 28, who will graduate from Brooklyn Law School in New York City in early June. She is looking for a public defender position or other public-interest work in New York.

For people like Allison Standard, 24, a recent graduate of the University of North Carolina School of Law who is searching for a public-interest job, the uncertainty over what the law firm deferral programs mean for hiring is unsettling. “The hard part is that there is no easy solution to this,” Standard said. “You can’t blame the organizations for taking the free labor. But people who intended on public-interest careers have been working throughout law school to build a path to these jobs, and they might get passed over.”

Brett Church, an incoming associate at Boston-based Goodwin Procter who chose to work at a nonprofit organization for a year, said he understands why some young public-interest attorneys may resent the deferred law firm associates. However, he sees potential for deferred associates to make a difference in their communities. “In this market, everybody is just trying to get by and find opportunities,” said Church, 28, who plans to work at a Boston-area organization geared toward helping children or young people before focusing on venture capital at the firm. “The fact that I went to Goodwin Procter doesn’t mean I’m not passionate about doing this type of work.”

Public-interest law students in the class of 2009 faced a harsh employment climate even before classmates on the law firm track came into the mix. Paul Igasaki, the deputy chief executive officer of Equal Justice Works, a group that promotes public-interest law careers, said that public-interest organizations have struggled with funding reductions from interest on lawyers’ trust accounts (IOLTA), lower donations and fewer grants, limiting their ability to hire. The associate deferrals represent another curveball. The programs vary by firm, but many involve paying a stipend to associates who have had their law firm start dates pushed back by a few months to more than a year and who choose to work at a public-interest organization in the meantime.

The stipends generally range from $60,000 to $85,000 for yearlong deferrals — meaning that deferred associates will make significantly more money than many public-interest attorneys. Some firms are even covering health insurance costs. By contrast, the National Association for Law Placement (NALP) reported last year that public-interest attorneys can expect to start with a salary of about $41,000.

grad recap

Warning: self-pitying bitching ahead.

What’s the point of going to your graduation? I’d say there are two major reasons: (1) you do it for your family and friends so they can celebrate your achievement and be proud of you and stuff like that. (2) you do it for yourself so that you can have some kind of culmination, closure and celebration of your hard work. That being said, I probably shouldn’t have gone to my graduation.

Before I start my rant and complaining, I want to thank my friends who came to see me walk across the stage, especially those who traveled across states to do so. Everyone contributed in their own way (a ride, emergency funds, their apartment lol). Even though I had six friends there with me, I couldn’t help but be aware of the fact that I only had six friends there with me. Let me start from the beginning though.

Yesterday was really rushed, I felt. I had to take a bus from NYC down to Philly the day of the graduation. As of right now, I don’t really live anyhwere so I didn’t have a spot to stay overnight in Philly before the graduation. As soon as I got in the city, I had to get picked up and taken over to the bookstore where I was supposed to pick up my graduation regalia (cap and gown, hood and tassel). I had planned on having it earlier but was unable to get to Philly. They wouldn’t let anyone pick it up for me so I had to wait until the day of. Anyway, I get there and they tell me that they don’t have any regalia for me. EXCUSE ME? Naturally, I stopped dealing with that undergrad lackey and started talking to the managers. Phone calls were made, we searched for the confirmation, everything. No dice. Yo, I know I sat in my room in Tokyo and ordered that shit. Well they don’t let you walk in the graduation if you don’t have regalia. One of my friends had to purchase the $80 doctor’s gown set for me about 10 minutes before I had to be lined up. The stress of that whole ordeal sent me into tears which pissed me off because I was messing up my eye makeup and I didn’t want anyone to think I was crying because I was graduating cuz, well, that’s lame.

MESSAGE!

I waited a long time to post up anything about this Chris Brown/Rihanna (Robyn Fenty) situation. I was pretty sure that I wouldn’t post anything about it at all on my blog but you know, hard to get away from.

I’ve tried to stay out of conversations because people talking about shit they don’t know about infuriates me to no end. There are so many commonly held misconceptions about the realities of domestic violence that it not only makes me angry, it makes me sad and a little afraid. Therefore I have spoken very little about CB/RF. I’m still not going to go into it because I feel like there’s too much to say as the problem is bigger than those two individuals. Plus I don’t want to make myself upset. So I’m just going to post this recent press release from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Let them make it clear and succinct for you:

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence Stands With Rihanna:

“She is not responsible for the violence perpetrated against her.”

Washington, DC — When singer Chris Brown reportedly assaulted his girlfriend, fellow singer Rihanna, following an argument on Sunday, February 8th, there was an immediate public outcry of support for Rihanna.

Visibly battered and bruised, Rihanna has joined the ranks of millions of women, becoming part of a horrifying statistic of 1 in 4 women who will be beaten by their intimate partners during their lifetimes.[1]

By Wednesday, February 11^th, however, the tune had changed. With new information alleging that Rihanna had begun the argument herself, public support began to waver. Some implied, and others firmly stated, that because Rihanna may have started the argument, she deserved the subsequent abuse she suffered. Now as stories circulate about the couple’s reunion, support for Rihanna seems to be waning even more.

This is unacceptable.

The idea that someone “deserves” to be beaten is intolerable and appalling. Choosing to use violence in response to conflict—and we emphasize that violence is a choice—is the sole responsibility of the abuser. Regardless of the circumstances or other factors of the situation, violence and abuse is never an acceptable response. Rihanna, or any other victim of violence, is not responsible for the violence perpetrated against them, plain and simple.

Rihanna’s rumored reunion with Chris Brown does not in any way mean she “wants to be abused.” Reasons for staying in or returning to an abusive relationship are more complex than a statement about the victim’s strength of character. For most of us, the decision to end a relationship is one of the most difficult we will ever make. A battered woman’s emotional ties to her partner may still be strong, supporting her hope that the violence will end.[2] Also, it is extremely common for battered women to return to their abuser multiple times before she leaves for good. Gaining strength, relinquishing hope, or letting go of someone we love is very hard and takes time even when violence is not present. Supporting victims of domestic violence in their process and understanding the dynamics of domestic violence is vital to their success and survival. To learn more about domestic violence, please visit these links:

Domestic Violence Facts
Why Doesn’t She Just Leave?
Men and Domestic Violence

We hope that Rihanna finds the resources she needs to heal and regain her sense of security and self and encourage everyone to support her in her process. We also hope that Chris Brown is held accountable for his actions and receives support to learn alternatives to violence as a way to deal with conflict in his life.

[…]

[1] Tjaden, Patricia & Thoennes, Nancy. National Institute of Justice and the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention, Extent, Nature and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence: Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey, (2000).

[2] What You Should Know About Domestic Violence. Retrieved March 4, 2009, from http://www.caring-unlimited.org/what-you-should-know.html

Oh, and please quit using “Chris Brown” or any derivative of his name as a euphemism for beating anyone up or the like. It’s stupid and diminishes the gravity of the situation. kthxbye.

Stop judging. Kthxbye.

Does having three children by three different men, none of whom were your husband, make you a “ho”? This is kind of rehashing old news but since folks in the blogosphere are bringing it back up, so will I. Erykah Badu recently gave birth to her third child, a babygirl named Mars. As an unapologetic stan for Badu, I was happy to be receiving the Twitter updates from mom and dad during the birth process. It follows that I was peeved after reading several blogs asserting that Badu was exhibiting ho tendencies and just barely escaping that designation because of her fame. Ugh. Kill me now.

I can’t believe how quick people are to judge. When it comes to women and sexuality, people become unexpectedly puritan in their views, giving very little leeway to women to exercise their freedom of choice when it comes to partners, lifestyle and parenting. Not to be on some “anything you can do, I can do” shit, but we don’t crucify men for fathering children out of wedlock. We merely talk a good game about them.

When news broke that Badu was pregnant by rapper Jay Electronica, talk started floating around about her being preggers yet again. Of course the talk made its way to message boards like Okayplayer which Badu often frequents. In response to all of the negative comments and speculation about her character and choices, Badu responded with the following (excerpted in relevant part):

You’re invited to a pity party.

I’m starting to get nervous. I’ve been nervous, but now i’m pretty damned frustrated and mildly depressed. I’m starting to think that I am not going to be a working attorney, at least not any time soon. I am scheduled to get my JD this May and today, at the end of January, I do not have a job lined up. That might not seem like a big deal to those outside of the legal field. Those within the field know that many people have already secured job offers for after graduation. In fact, there are some students who have known about their post-grad jobs over a year and a half ago.

Just yesterday I got two rejections. Thanks but no thanks. “We had so many qualified candidates it was difficult to choose…” blah blah blah. I can’t even remember how many jobs I’ve applied to so far. I suppose the job market is to blame in part. I can admit that I am not at the top of my class. I did not do a journal or law review. I did not win awards on trial team. I know that all contributes to being a competitive candidate. Still, I can’t help but be frustrated by the fact that I have no clue WHATSOEVER what I will be doing after I walk across the stage back in Philly. I don’t even have anywhere to LIVE! I can’t just go home like some people are doing. I don’t really have a home to go back to. So not only do I not know what I’ll be doing, I don’t know where I’ll be living.