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RHoATL, Season 2 Finale: Wrap it up, B

nnlwh

But that choker's not cute.

We’re back and it’s over! I missed blogging last week’s episode but when I got around to watching it, it wasn’t THAT exciting to write about anyway. On to the finale…

What are Dwight’s qualifications as the director of a fashion show? He’s telling Sheree to trust him but um, what references is he rolling with? Sheree is the WORST when it comes to hiring help. She can’t hire models, party planners, seamstresses, nobody. For someone who had such a dreadful show last time, you’d think she would be on top of this. How the hell does Sheree have one vision (simple, understated) and she hired Dwight who is thinking “it’s better to oversell than undersell”????? More fur! More accessories! Mmkay.

The Hartwells are getting real and I appreciate that. Ed is truly being responsible saying let’s downsize this crib that costs $200,000 a year and move into our other crib that’s 9 acres. Still a great place to live, I’m sure, but a downgrade from where they are now. Lisa needs to get it together. I know she’s got a lot of things going on, but I’m not so sure she’s bringing in the kind of cheese that’s necessary for the upkeep of the home and everything else the family is spending money on. She wants to be wealthy, but um, it’s not like they’re moving to the poor house! Ed was TOTALLY on point when he said his home was in his family, not in the house. And no Lisa, you can’t build a guest house. You cannot build a gym. You cannot have a circular driveway. By the time you renovate the property with all those extras, it’ll cost damn near the same or more than the home you’re leaving! Continue reading

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RHoATL, s2e11: heel the world

Heeling the Soul

Too bad this show isn’t live because I’d like to see how they all handled the death of Kandi’s (ex?) fiance Ashely “AJ” Jewell. It would be a refreshing change to see them deal with something real and weighty instead of the fashion shows and dreadful parties. We saw a bit of seriousness when Lisa’s family visited her brother’s grave, but of course this is television and wigs prevail.

Kim is the bestworst person on the show. SUCH a liar! When Kandi stepped to her and asked why Kim didn’t support her and attend her show, Kim tried to say she couldn’t attend because her kid was sick. Um… no. Let’s review: Kim has no job and has no skills or hobbies to speak of yet she has a nanny. I’m pretty sure it’s because she just cannot deal with children AS CHILDREN. Since those lil chunky kids can’t drink yet, Kim pretty much can’t be bothered. So why all of a sudden when one gets sick you want to stay at home? I call shenanigans. You all know that Kandi is sort of annoying to me overall, but I like how when the camera just gets on her, she calls Kim out on her inconsistencies. While shopping for clothes for Kim’s daughters, Kim whipped out her titanium AMEX card and made sure to say it wasn’t a joint account with Big Papa but her own money that funded the card. Kandi, knowing a bit about high limit credit cards, noted that you have to spend a certain amount to even get that card. Ok, where did Kim get $200,000 something dollars on her own? From doing what?! Shenanigans number two! Oh and FYI, I hope Mrs. Big Papa is watching ALL this shit so when it comes time to divorce his ass, she can get into those side accounts he has with his mistresses (plural cuz you know Kim ain’t the only one). Continue reading

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RHoATL, s2e7: Fashion Weak

Getting an early start on my Labor Day weekend caused me to miss blogging about last week’s episode. Before I get into this week’s shenanigans, here are a few thoughts from Episode 6 aka She Gotta Big Alter Ego:

  • Aren’t alter ego photo shoots for famous people not just second-season reality casts?
  • Argument between Kandi and Nene on who is Ghetto’er or Hood’er? Totally ridiculous and boring

    Lisa in a Closet Freak creation

  • OMG why did Kandi do that SAME stripper leg move at the belly dancing class that she did on the youtube vid with Fantasia!? One trick pony ass.
  • Why is Kim still running with the cancer lie and demanding an apology from Lisa for calling her out on it? KIM… YOU admitted on television that you were never sick about 2 minutes after saying you had cancer. Ugh!
    Don’t be tardy for the party gotta be the biggest joke on television. Who even says “tardy” anymroe? Teachers?
  • How come Kim has to keep a “Black version” of herself around? First Nene was her Black alter ego. Then Sheree was her Black twin. Now her assistant, Myliek, is the Black edition of Kim. With all of this mess, why didn’t Kim want Nene to paint her in blackface for the photo shoot again? (FYI, I’m glad Kim realized that showing up on TV in blackface, no matter what the rationale, would have been the end of her life).
  • Why the FUCK don’t Kim’s kids eat anything beside fast food? How is Monday Chick-fil-A day and Tuesday is Taco Bell day? Great mom, thanks for all of this cellulite and heart disease!
  • Quote of the episode: “I’m not telling the world that I’m a singer, what I’m saying to the world is that I’m better than Kim.” –  Nene

On to this week. The Hartwells, in addition to all their other endeavors (baby clothes, real estate, jewelry) have entered the fashion design arena. I know Atlanta isn’t Milan, Paris or NYC but damn… between Sheree’s model casting and Lisa’s casting this week, ATL models look like they’re running away not rocking the run way. Boo. Just like Kim can’t stand Lisa’s success (for whatever haterific reason), Sheree didn’t seem too happy about another non-designing designer among the housewives. Continue reading

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RHoAtl, s2e5: this is for my homies

You're a Taurus? OMG me too!

CONTAINS SPOILERS – I swear, this show is about as fake as Kim’s hair or Kandi’s “happy family.” Still, it’s another week, another episode and I’m sitting right here with laptop at the ready to take down all the shenanigans for you!

The saddest thing to me is the state of R&B music as evidenced by Ms. Kandi Burrus. No doubt that Kandi was singing her butt off with Xscape and I’ve heard her getting down since then. Blame it on old age or a dated sense of music but Kandi just doesn’t sound as good to me anymore. Plus she’s doing this tacky music I feel is beneath vocalists with real talent (see Mariah Carey).”I fly above all the haters?” How old are you? Oh, and if you didn’t catch it, that song was inspired by Kim. Aw Kandi, how sweet of you! :/

How strange that Kandi and Kim are best buds now. They were all in the studio bonding and Kim kept bringing up her own recording. Um, that wig must be clouding her judgment because we know Kim cannot sing. She couldn’t even sing to Kandi on the couch! Nene still blasts her out of the water with “Don’t be tardy for the party.” LOL Continue reading

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RHoATL, s2e4: such a happy family

Lisa's gym face

Last week left me wanting for some serious wig snatching and not that tease of a tug Sheree gave Kim. Thankfully, the episode was saved by Dwight’s fabulous party and boob inspections. Bravo, don’t fail me now!

Question: Is it necessary for Lisa to work out in a full face of makeup and that hair all down her back? I know when I’m up in the gym (or when I WAS up in the gym), I didn’t have time for all of that. Mascara all sweating down into my eyes and that hair is like having a heater on the back of your neck. Hmph. Yeah, it’s television but I thought Lisa went hard on her workouts.

I know this is not the nicest thing to say, but Kim’s children are terribly boring. I don’t want to see them ever again on this show. Especially when I’m subjected to scenes where two adults and two children cannot come together and figure out whether “sightseeing” is an adjective or a verb (FYI, it’s a verb). After acting like dictionaries don’t exist, the nanny tells Kim’s daughter that she’s going to hell for rapping her prayer (you can’t make this stuff up). Nanny’s job wasn’t in too much jeopardy at that point, though, because we know Kim is the queen of empty threats. Just like she says one tihng to Nene and Sheree and never follows up on it. Kim could’ve axed the nanny right then and there and she probably should have because a little later, Kim got the heads up that the nanny had left the kids home alone to make a tampon run. Damn.
Question: why does Kim need a nanny? She doesn’t work, right? How come she can’t raise her kids?

Kandi attempted to get her family together for a photo shoot, a la the Sears Portrait Studio. You know, the ones where everyone is dressed alike? Wheretheydothatat? That’s still in style? No, it’s not. Kandi is just bass ackwards but we knew that when she signed up to marry some dude with 6 kids and 4 different mothers (and you’ve only known him for 8 months)? Who is she trying to convince with her “we are a happy family” spiel? I think she might say it 3 times an episode, every episode. We don’t believe you, boo. I know her momma doesn’t believe one single bit of it the way she removed herself from the “family” picture. Continue reading

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