Tag Archives: battle of the sexes

Never show your hand?

A guy friend of mine told me not too long ago that it was a bad idea to let a man know that you’re feeling him. I told him that was the stupidest thing I had ever heard. Why play games? We are adults and if adults like each other they should say so. I thought people hated it when women played games. Now here I was being advised to play my hand close and hide how I really feel. Huh?

Today on the Mike & Juliet Show some “relationship expert” was saying the same thing. He said that a woman shouldn’t approach a man and discuss their relationship… EVER. He said it makes you look weak. The man will know he already won and will no longer want you. He said that all you need to do is look to a man’s actions to determine how he feels about you. Well I don’t know about that. Lack of words and lack of action can make you go crazy. Why can’t you just straight up ask what’s going on without coming off like a clingy broad? Ugh! That is so frustrating!

This is why I balk when people say that women are crazy in relationships. I say men are crazy because they’re setting all these rules – rules designed for them to have their cake and eat it too without ever having to lay down their cards. People say they want honesty when it comes to relationships but they’re lying, I guess. If you’re honest, you’re likely going to get hung out to dry and find yourself by yourself. If you lie and play games, you’re good to go. Nice and cozy in a relationship built on bullshit. Lose-lose.

What do you think?

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Filed under relationships, What kind of fuckery?

Real quick: He say/She say

This photo says it all:

This comes from a UK survey (a la Fabulous Mag) of men and women. The sizes in the picture are UK sizes. The US equivalents are as follows: Anna, Size 10, Tillie, Size 6 and Caroline, Size 14. Do you think this is reflective of men’s and women’s ideals in the US as well? If men are the ones who have traditionally controlled the media (which idealizes Tillie’s size), but their true ideal body type is more like Anna’s, where are the wires getting crossed? Aside: I don’t like how Anna is photographed. That post somehow makes her look bigger than Caroline. I’m curious as to why Tillie seems most prominently featured too.

On a separate but sort of related note: I made an observation today and I want to know if others have noticed this too… The higher a man’s stature in society (based on his education, career, accomplishments, etc), the thinner he likes his women. Go the other way on the spectrum of “success” and “status” and men date thicker women all the way to downright portly. If this is true, this means I need to drop a couple of sizes to climb the dating ladder, right? Aw fooey!

Swiped: Weapons of Mass Seduction

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Filed under Health & Wellness, Swiped

50 Things Men Wish Women Knew (yeah right)

So Men’s Health Magazine put out these 50 things. Not like Men’s Health is, in my opinion, an authority on anything except abs and tanning. Still, I thought it’d be fun to go through some of them  (you didn’t think I’d hit all 50!) and drop my two cents.
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1. Express yourself. It makes us proud, even if someone thinks you’re wrong.
Oh really? Seems like men get exasperated and squeemish if we express ourselves sometimes. So you mean to tell me that when you’re ignoring everything I’m saying, you’re really just beaming with pride?

4. If you think I’m speeding now, you should see me drive when you’re not in the car.
That offers me no comfort, especially because you’re probably speeding in MY car.

5. If you’re truly interested in us, don’t play hard to get.
And if you’re truly interested in us, don’t act like you can’t tell us. You’re not less of a man if you say, “I like you.”

7. When I screw up, go ahead and tell me–once.
Nope, you can’t have it that easy. When I screw up, I’m going to tell you. As many times as it takes, okay?

8. No question need ever be asked through a closed bathroom door if I’m inside. I love you less with each syllable you utter.
Funny, most men will use the bathroom with the door open and will STILL talk to you.

9. I’m hot for you, not your sister or your friend or your coworker.
We don’t believe you, you need more people. Nah, you might not want to do it to them, but you have certainly noticed whether they’re hot or not.

10. My guy friends. Not only are they not negotiable, they’re your best sign that I’m not a whack job.
Your guy friends are my best sign that you have a heart of gold. Only a saint would entertain the mentally challenged on a regular basis. Continue reading

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Filed under relationships, Swiped

“The Unavailable Man”

Ever have someone tell you something you already know to be true, you just needed to hear it come out of someone else’s mouth in a tough-love, “bitch get some ackright!” kind of way? Well, Collete just put it down. Colette, a dating and relationship expert, discusses the enigma of the “unavailable man”. Who is he? Why isn’t he calling you back? And most importantly, how do you move on, once and for all?

Why You Should Say Good-bye to The Unavailable Guy

By Colette

How many times have you thought you met the perfect guy? He’s intelligent, funny, successful, and sexy as hell. You want to date him, and ultimately end up in a relationship with him. However, Mr. Smart and Sexy is only willing to give you a ¼ of his time (if you’re lucky), and you want more.

Sometimes, he calls you. Sometimes, he doesn’t. He pulls disappearing acts for days at a time. He cancels on you at the last minute, and once in a while, he doesn’t even bother to show up. Yet, you continue to see him. You make excuses for him. You tell yourself that he really likes you, but he has so many other things going on.

These are some of the classic excuses when dealing with an unavailable man – and like many women, I’ve used them a million times: Continue reading

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Filed under Good Reads, relationships, Swiped

It’s not me, it’s you.

I'm supposed to talk to this???

I hear a lot of talk about how women respond to men’s attempts at hollering on the street. Most times, women will say that we don’t respond well when guys approach us because we are bombarded with unacceptable approaches and unwanted advances more often than not. Honestly, you don’t even have to look half decent to get a lot of unwanted hootin’ and hollerin’. Men tend to underestimate the importance of being able to walk down the street and just get from point A to point B totally unmolested (physically and verbally). Do guys know how it is to be walking down the block and decide that you need to cross the street just to avoid the possibility of being harassed. Sometimes you just don’t feel like talking and that’s your prerogative. These are all reasons why women say they aren’t really that open to all attempts to talk to them. Regrettably, some nice men get dissed because of it. One solution would be for men as a whole to reign in their brethren and collectively fall back, thus making it easier for each individual brother to get his mack on. Also known as: “Nigga, quit beepin yo horn at women and yelling inappropriate shit out your car window so I can speak to her like a human being and get them digits!” Sorry yall, sometimes innocent people caught up in the crossfire.  Continue reading

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Filed under Routine Ramblings