I Want to Work for Diddy – Mission 8

Money, money, money. I like making a lot of it.
– The Tao of Diddy™

Last week, Steph almost got the boot (and would have if Capricorn had her way) because she couldn’t make a decent Ciroc and Lemonade. At least that’s what it amounted to in my opinion. Red bounced since his so-called club promotion experience left the team with a big fat L.

This week, it was All About The Benjamins: The Money Hustle. I love the way the show started with Diddy appearing in the middle of the night to wake up the wannabes. Dude is sitting over Mike, eating Doritos. Then he wakes up Kendra and says, “I wish I could sleep” (chomp chomp chomp). BWAHHAHAHA. It kind of reminded me of the Burger King King when he’s in the bed with folks.

To see who is really going to be able to make money and hustle, Diddy breaks up the teams and puts everyone out there on their own. (Aside: Does your personal assistant really have to be able to make money for you? End Aside) Well, sort of alone. Each person will be judged alone, but they have to do work in pairs. $500 goes to each team to get busy.

I Want to Work for Diddy-Mission 5

Mission 5 – HOORAY FOR HOLLYWOOD: Assist Diddy’s Family

“Bad Boy Entertainment to me, it’s not just a company. We are an army. You seen the movie 300. It’s a small unit of us but we’re lethal. We are the best at what we do, you know. We take no prisoners. No mercy.”
-The Tao of Diddy

I can’t get into the blow by blow tonight. All I need to say is that these people suck. I would SO make a better personal assistant for Diddy. Granted, I might quit super fast, but I’d be able to make the cut before all of those jokers. Where’d they get these morons? Maybe it’s because they have to work in groups, I don’t know. I think if you didn’t have to deal with so many competing minds, you’d get more done quickly. They do have to keep the drama for television though I suppose.

To begin, and it’s no surprise, Poprah had a plan – Pimp LaVerne. See, Uptown Team was told that they’d have the option of selecting a member from Downtown Team. Kim set her sights on LaVerne. Her rationale: Diddy wouldn’t really hire anyone like LaVerne anyway. Damn.

This episode was filmed at the time when Diddy got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Time for the potential PAs to “handle” Diddy’s Mom and on/off girlfriend Kim Porter. Keeping the women in his life happy was key. Honestly, I’d be trying to snatch that tacky blonde bullshit off of Ms. Combs’ head.
Uptown gets Mama. Downtown got Babymama.

I’m convinced Kim/Poprah will get her own show from this. SOMETHING. She’s dropping tears. She’s orchestrating the fall of Red and other teammates. She’s pulling the strings and it’s horrible and fabulous at the same time. She’s clearly the one you love to hate.