Tag Archives: food

On: Cooking together

So I watch the Neelys cook on the Food Network sometimes. Along with my girl Sunny, I just like to support the Black folks on there. To be honest, the Neelys kind of annoy me. They’re always on top of each other in the kitchen. Baby chop this up for me. Sweetheart, I like how you stir that gravy. Ooh big daddy, that barbecue smells good! My boy said he saw Pat Neely smack his wife’s ass one episode. That’s all good, but um, sometimes I wish they’d just cook the damn food. Another thing about them that annoys me is their utter lack of knife skills. If you watch either one of them try to cut up an onion, celery, peppers, or any other vegetable, and you have any knowledge whatsoever of how to properly chop/dice/julienne/etc, you’d be disgusted. As am I.

What do I know though? The Neelys appear to be a happily married couple with a successful Tennessee barbecue business, two shows on the Food Network and a loving family. They say their secret is cooking together. Hmm. Continue reading

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Filed under relationships, Routine Ramblings

National Watermelon Day

Friends, family, brethren and sistren,
Today is a day to rejoice. You can eat watermelon with reckless abandon until your shirt is soaked with sweet red juice …and in front of white people too! If they look at you funny, just take a moment to spit out your seeds and inform them that no, this is not a throwback to porchmonkies and pickaninnies. Today is National Watermelon Day. You’re just doing what good Americans do – celebrate national holidays. Party on.

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Filed under Bourgie's Everyday Etiquette

A few things…

Mmm, cupcakes

Mmm, cupcakes

1. You do realize that Montell Jordan is SIX FEET, EIGHT INCHES tall right? Like, I know he’s been out of the picture for a minute, but this negro was 6’8, dancing around on golf courses and R&B sangin’. Oh, and let’s not forget that he supposedly was gettin his in a big black truck (while the rest of us could get ours in a six-fo’). That must have been an 18-wheeler. I just cannot understand how tall people have sex in cars … which is partly why I’ve never done it.

2. I kind of want to make a Top 20 list of my all-time favorite songs and movies. Problem is, I don’t have favorites. I tell people this all of the time because, for some reason, people are very interested in asking “What’s your favorite ____?” If you’re asked this question more than once on a date, finish your drink and be out. He/She’s a shitty conversationalist and likely a loser. I have no favorite color, movie, song, food, animal, book, etc. I just like different things at different times.

3. That also goes for things I hate the most. Currently in the position of #1 pet peeve would be television stations who increase the volume by some magic technology every time they go to commercial. WHAT THE FUCK? I’ll be chillin’ watching a show and BAM – I’m hit with Random Voiceover Guy #1 telling me I can get a free gold kit to mail in my gold scraps for cash! I guess they do it because they want you to pay attention to the commercial. Unfortunately, I have to hold the remote in my hand in preparation for the BLAST emanating from my TV. My neighbors must think I’m crazy. God bless DVR and fast-forwarding past commercials.

4. I love Eugene. You know, Eugene Young, the character from television’s The Practice played by Steve Harris. He is the best attorney on TV. Straight yoking people up, daring judges to hold him in contempt, Eugene hardly ever holds his tongue and is willing to stand strong for his values. Don’t let me run into a Eugene Young in the courthouse one day. It’s a wrap, boo me down!

5. If it wasn’t for Facebook, I wouldn’t know about your birthday.

6. I love cupcakes (see above). They’re like little bundles of joy. Your very own individual cake. You unwrap it like a gift and get a bite of sweet frosting and soft cake goodness.

7. [space for more stuff]


Filed under Routine Ramblings

Box O’Wine?

Classy drink?

Earlier in the week, my girl asked me if it was pretentious of her to think it was odd that a box of wine was served at a bridal shower she attended. I told her that yes, it is indeed bourgie to turn your nose up at boxed wine, but that I understood. I mean, WHO does that? I asked a couple of questions to figure out the severity of this bourgie no-no: Was the event outdoors? Apparently, boxed wines are good for outdoor events like picnics and the like. No need to carry a corkscrew. No need to worry about disposing of the glass bottle. She said no. Were they trying to serve a lot of people in an economical way? Again, no. Well in that case, why not just get a few bottles? 

I have never, ever had a sip from a box of wine before but I’ve been thinking on this for a little while and did a bit of research. Box wines cost less, keep longer and open easier than your regular glass bottle. They hold more wine than a single bottle, are light and recyclable, are resealable, chill quickly, and won’t break if you drop them. I guess I should probably relax my stance on boxed wines and try out one of the brands below. First, I need to get over my apprehension of even carrying one of those squares up to the freakin’ counter! I’m a DRINKER… I have a reputation to uphold! 

Top 5 boxed wines according to Epicurious.com Continue reading


Filed under Bourgie's Everyday Etiquette, Routine Ramblings