whew!

I see now that it might be a couple of days before I can really get back into blogging. I started a new job on Monday so I’ve been getting acclimated there, as well as getting back into a 9-5 schedule. Do you know that I haven’t had to be at a 9-5/5 days a week job since last summer? Even that was an internship! My law classes didn’t even have that type of schedule. In Tokyo, we admittedly did more partying than studying or spending time in class so that wasn’t too stressful. This past summer, as the steady readers know, I didn’t have to be anywhere really. When doing the consulting/freelance, that was on my time for the most part. So now here I am trying to get back on track which includes getting up early, riding the subway to work, running errands after 5pm, heading home, attempting to make dinner, then studying for my MPA classes. Which reminds me, I haven’t even started this week’s reading AND my group members want everyone to turn in a draft of our project sections this Friday. Suffice to say that I won’t be doing anything for the remainder of the week besides work and school work. Womp.

I did go out to SOBs last night to see Black Sheep and Tanya Morgan rock with Revive da Live, a jammin’ ass hip hop band. It was awesome. TM already bangs but they definitely should try to hook up with the band more often. Hmm, perhaps they should do a reality show like Diddy. Making TMs Band?

Remember my crazy uncle? He had me put him on the phone with Dres from Black Sheep. Embarrassing but I did it anyway because I knew it’d make him happy. He wanted me to get an autograph too, but I have my limits. Besides, I had already gotten a pic with Dres for my Old Rapper Collection. More on that later for those who don’t know. LOL

Holla

You’re invited to a pity party.

I’m starting to get nervous. I’ve been nervous, but now i’m pretty damned frustrated and mildly depressed. I’m starting to think that I am not going to be a working attorney, at least not any time soon. I am scheduled to get my JD this May and today, at the end of January, I do not have a job lined up. That might not seem like a big deal to those outside of the legal field. Those within the field know that many people have already secured job offers for after graduation. In fact, there are some students who have known about their post-grad jobs over a year and a half ago.

Just yesterday I got two rejections. Thanks but no thanks. “We had so many qualified candidates it was difficult to choose…” blah blah blah. I can’t even remember how many jobs I’ve applied to so far. I suppose the job market is to blame in part. I can admit that I am not at the top of my class. I did not do a journal or law review. I did not win awards on trial team. I know that all contributes to being a competitive candidate. Still, I can’t help but be frustrated by the fact that I have no clue WHATSOEVER what I will be doing after I walk across the stage back in Philly. I don’t even have anywhere to LIVE! I can’t just go home like some people are doing. I don’t really have a home to go back to. So not only do I not know what I’ll be doing, I don’t know where I’ll be living.

I have magical powers

At least some cultures would believe that I can do more than the rest of you mere mortals. Why? Because I have a Preauricular Sinus. WTF, you say? In laymen’s terms I have a hole in my ear. No, silly. Not the hole that you stuff with cotton-tipped sticks to nearly assault your eardrum. No, not the hole you got after letting someone with a high school education approach your head with a pressurized “gun.” It’s a benign congenital malformation.

Basically, just a tiny little hole that you can miss if you’re not looking right at the spot where the top of my ear meets my head. Preauricular Sinus.

This thing serves absolutely no purpose. It’s just a genetic thing. I’ve noticed one on my mom. I noticed one on my boy just this weekend. Truthfully, sometimes the darn thing itches. Still, I’m better off than some folks with holes in their ears. Preauricular Sinuses can become infected and cause pain all the way down to your jaw. Ouch.

Online Dating

It all started with AOL. I remember that was my first real introduction to reaching out to other people via the internet. AOL chatrooms? SON! Those things were so much fun. You had to get used to the pace and become a “regular” before anyone would really talk to you. A/S/L? You know the routine. Run your stats and jump in the mix. Then there was Blackplanet. Oh goodness. Honestly, I never really got on BP too hard. I think I could tell early on that it was mostly for people trolling for ass. College Club. THAT was my shit! The chatrooms went slower than the ones over at BP and I liked the interface better. Those were all precursors to today’s online dating which is much more aggressive and streamlined (MySpace, Facebook, Match.com, Chemistry.com, etc).

I’ve had a few “relationships” with people I met or knew of primarily from online communication. While I think that online dating isn’t bad and really has opened up a new world of dating for many people, in retrospect it hasn’t worked out for me all too well. Let’s run down a few instances:

1. The first guy I met online, we’ll call him Frank. I met Frank on AOL my sophomore year in college. He went to a nearby school and we went out on a date. He was pretty cool and after that we talked all the time. Eventually, things transcended to a more-than-just-friends level, but didn’t go much further than that. Frank sorta became the person you call on in between relationships. We enjoyed each others’ company and above all else were good friends. It just never worked out that we ended up in a relationship. Eventually, though, Frank let me know that he DID want to be my man and that he wasn’t into being the in the meantime, in between guy. So we scaled things back significantly. I’d still say Frank and I are friends. We just don’t talk much now that I live in another state. Overall, I’d give that online relationship a B-.

Confessional

I do not have any problem whatsoever with homosexuality. Homosexuals do not offend any sense of morality that I have. Any sense of decency. I care about what homosexuals do just as much as I care about what heterosexuals do. I do not ascribe any negativity to someone’s character and/or actions simply because they are homosexual. It simply does not matter to me at all. It would not matter to me if my mother revealed to me that she was a lesbian. It would not matter to me if my son told me he wanted to marry a man. Well, those things would matter, of course, but not because of the homosexual part.

Still, whenever I see a person who appears to fit within the generally accepted homosexual “box” aka, when I see somebody who I think is gay, I MUST say in my head, “gay”. I do not know why. I just do it.

I feel bad about it. Like it somehow negates everything I said in the first paragraph. WHY must I point it out in my own head. To be sure, I don’t go tapping the person I’m with like, “ooh look, he’s gay.” That’s uber lame. I hate when other people do that shit. I just say a quiet “gay” in my head and K.I.M.

What’s that about?