grad recap

Warning: self-pitying bitching ahead.

What’s the point of going to your graduation? I’d say there are two major reasons: (1) you do it for your family and friends so they can celebrate your achievement and be proud of you and stuff like that. (2) you do it for yourself so that you can have some kind of culmination, closure and celebration of your hard work. That being said, I probably shouldn’t have gone to my graduation.

Before I start my rant and complaining, I want to thank my friends who came to see me walk across the stage, especially those who traveled across states to do so. Everyone contributed in their own way (a ride, emergency funds, their apartment lol). Even though I had six friends there with me, I couldn’t help but be aware of the fact that I only had six friends there with me. Let me start from the beginning though.

Yesterday was really rushed, I felt. I had to take a bus from NYC down to Philly the day of the graduation. As of right now, I don’t really live anyhwere so I didn’t have a spot to stay overnight in Philly before the graduation. As soon as I got in the city, I had to get picked up and taken over to the bookstore where I was supposed to pick up my graduation regalia (cap and gown, hood and tassel). I had planned on having it earlier but was unable to get to Philly. They wouldn’t let anyone pick it up for me so I had to wait until the day of. Anyway, I get there and they tell me that they don’t have any regalia for me. EXCUSE ME? Naturally, I stopped dealing with that undergrad lackey and started talking to the managers. Phone calls were made, we searched for the confirmation, everything. No dice. Yo, I know I sat in my room in Tokyo and ordered that shit. Well they don’t let you walk in the graduation if you don’t have regalia. One of my friends had to purchase the $80 doctor’s gown set for me about 10 minutes before I had to be lined up. The stress of that whole ordeal sent me into tears which pissed me off because I was messing up my eye makeup and I didn’t want anyone to think I was crying because I was graduating cuz, well, that’s lame.

You’re invited to a pity party.

I’m starting to get nervous. I’ve been nervous, but now i’m pretty damned frustrated and mildly depressed. I’m starting to think that I am not going to be a working attorney, at least not any time soon. I am scheduled to get my JD this May and today, at the end of January, I do not have a job lined up. That might not seem like a big deal to those outside of the legal field. Those within the field know that many people have already secured job offers for after graduation. In fact, there are some students who have known about their post-grad jobs over a year and a half ago.

Just yesterday I got two rejections. Thanks but no thanks. “We had so many qualified candidates it was difficult to choose…” blah blah blah. I can’t even remember how many jobs I’ve applied to so far. I suppose the job market is to blame in part. I can admit that I am not at the top of my class. I did not do a journal or law review. I did not win awards on trial team. I know that all contributes to being a competitive candidate. Still, I can’t help but be frustrated by the fact that I have no clue WHATSOEVER what I will be doing after I walk across the stage back in Philly. I don’t even have anywhere to LIVE! I can’t just go home like some people are doing. I don’t really have a home to go back to. So not only do I not know what I’ll be doing, I don’t know where I’ll be living.