Voulez-vous coucher avec une araignée?*

I love the French. Europeans just don’t give a fuck when it comes to ‘keeping it real’ and sex. I’m late, but check out these ads for AIDS/safe sex awareness from France c/o AIDES. Illustrates the hell out of the point, right?

I don’t know why, but people are still not getting the message: Unprotected sex is like screwing a scorpion or getting head from a hairy ass spider. Ew? I really like how the first ad with the woman and the spider depicts oral sex. Ask 10 people and I bet you 10 people will tell you that while they might use protection while having sex, they don’t use anything when giving/receiving oral. It’s the dumbest thing smart people do.

Prove your love

I find this terribly amusing.

It’s 2008. Men & Women are having sex. We like sex. We live in a sexualized society. We’re gonna do it. No doubt about it. But yeah, it’s 2008 and you can’t just go out in the streets and do the do like you want to. People can DIE from sex (and not just from a heart attack during the reverse cowgirl, either)! I don’t have to tell you… HIV/AIDS, my friends. So what do you do? You’re sure as hell not going to stop having sex altogether. You’re going to protect yourself the usual route – Condoms and being discerning about the partners you choose.
Running to CVS, Target*, Walgreens, or the local clinic to get some rubbers is easy as pie. It’d be even easier if they stopped locking them up behind the counter where a woman who resembles your grandma is ringing up toothpaste and Bubble-Yum. What’s the hard part is choosing that good partner. We know that he/she looks clean isn’t worth a damn. Snooping in the medicine cabinet probably didn’t yield any results. No big bottle of pills labeled AIDS MEDICINE or anything. You really just have to trust what he/she tells you. Or you can request to see proof that they’ve been tested and is HIV-negative.

Do you have your test results within easy reach? Keep ’em framed on your wall? In a file cabinet? What about in your wallet next to your condom (a wallet is a poor place for a condom, by the way)? Hmm, wait a minute. In your wallet might not be a bad idea…