babydaddy/babymama

When speakers use the phrases “baby daddy” and “baby mama” in non-colloquial contexts, do they mock African-Americans or do they embrace one way that the American vocabulary has been enriched by the contributions of African-Americans?  Both?  Neither?

The above query comes from the post “White People’s ‘Baby Daddy'”on the Feminist Law Professors blog and I must admit that I’ve often wondered the same thing – do the terms ‘baby daddy/father’ and ‘baby mama’ take on a different meaning or carry a different connotation when used by white people? I want to say no because I don’t want to think that any particular group has ownership or privilege over certain words. Yet regardless of what I want to believe, I know that’s not true. We only need to look at the ‘nigga/nigger’ debate to understand how a word can have different meaning and impact depending on who is using it. For the most part, Black people own that word and, until recently, have been able to say it without being demonized or called racist. Bridget Crawford continues…

Bridget Jones, grow a pair.

I’m watching Bridget Jones Edge of Reason and it sucks bawlz. Who liked this movie? Why did Rene Zellweger get chubbo TWICE to play this knuckleheaded chick? It was probably the reported 3.2 million dollar bonus on top of the 15 million for the movie itself, but that’s beside the point.

She’s sooooo annoying. The writers of this flick are trying to convince me that insecurity is endearing. It’s not. They also want me to think that this woman, who finds value in her life only when there’s a man involved, is cute. No. She’s so tragic.

THe only reason I’m still watching is because I haven’t motivated my ass to move from the sofa to my bed. IF anything, this is a cautionary tale on how not to act. I’ve certainly learned something. Watching Bridget get up from bed wrapped in a sheet after a night of sex simply because she didn’t want her boyfriend to see her “wobbly bits” was painful. I wanted to give her one of those shoulda had a V8 knocks on the head. It also reminded me that 9/10, if he wanted to screw you all night, he ain’t really thinking about your wobbly bits in the morning. He more than likely was all about those bits when yall was bumpin and grindin.

Cocoon of self-pity and ice cream

Then she proceeds to sabotage the relationship she lives and breathes for (a six week relationship, btw) by letting her insecurities get in the way. Listen, if you keep telling a man about all of the reasons he shouldn’t be with you, he might start to listen.

To top it all off, I just generally dislike Rene in anything. In this shit, in that shit with Tom Cruise and as herself in real life.

This movie blows. I do not want to see a lonely, crying, self-deprecating, co-dependent white broad boo-hooing after some mediocre English guy.
To all the people who paid to see it, read the books and (oh God) bought the DVD: GET HELP NOW. I’m turning it off.

American Pie – enough already!

What’s the deal with all of these American Pie movie spin-offs? The first one was admittedly funny. It was unexpected and kind of ushered in a rash of crass, teenage comedies. Believe it or not, there was once a time when Tara Reid was cool and fucking a pie was plausible. We all know what American Pie was all about, the four friends make a pact to lose their virginity. Not a fresh concept, but funny nonetheless. I think it was kept fresh by a well-placed flute story. American Pie became a trilogy with American Pie 2 and American Wedding.

I thought they went too far after the sequel, but nope. These losers went ahead and hit up the straight-to-video market. Yep, we now have film gems such as American Pie Presents: Band Camp, American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile and American Pie Presents: Beta House.

The link through all these movies is the Stifler clan. In all of the American Pie Presents movies, there’s some Stifler brother or cousin. They carry on the horny asshole legacy started by the original Stifler. Unfortunately for those lames, no one can do Stifler like Seann William Scott.

WHY?

Tell the truth. Have you seen these movies. I’ll admit, I was inspired to make this post after seeing The Naked Mile come on. I’m 4% stupider now.

These movies suck, yo. They just glorify reckless sex and dangerous drinking. I’d blame American Pie before Grand Theft Auto for the problems with today’s youth.

i can has mayonaze?

Bonafide Hearsay is right, Lolwhitepeoplez has serious potential to toss those (oh so funny and cute) Lolcats. Still, better not encourage it too much. Because as soon as Lolblacks comes out with someone scrawling “I can has chikin” on a pic of one of the Obama children, I’m going to start the race war. It won’t be televised, but I’ll blog about it. Now that I think of it, a site like that probably already exists. :(

Artichokes & Asparagus: Musings on the word “bourgie”

I stumbled across this article from Racialicious a little while ago. If you’ve ever read my “about me” section here, you’d know that all the bourgie-talk that’s tossed around here is pretty tongue-in-cheek. Still, I thought it would be interesting to view parts of this article and comment on its take on the word “bougie” (I favor keeping the “r” in the word) among Black folk.

Bougie* by Design

by Racialicious Special Correspondent Latoya Peterson

“No one ever means bougie as a compliment. It’s never ‘Oh, you’re so bougie!’ It’s ALWAYS a negative trait.”

I had asked one of my close friends about being bougie and how the word is perceived in black circles. Depending on how it is used, bougie can almost be a curse word. Bougie is a stand in word for being racially removed, for pretending to be superior, for being out of touch with “true blackness.”

For many, being hit with a bougie label comes at random. Maybe it’s because you speak English with tight diction and clear pronunciation. Maybe it’s because you prefer off-broadway to the “chitlin circuit”. Or maybe it’s because someone doesn’t like how you dress, how you wear your hair, or your attitude.

Fun in the Sun?

I was out last night with some friends and their friends. One of these friend’s friends, we’ll call her Amy, is white. Walking down the street, the conversation turned to Amy and her recent trip to a sunny locale and how she got tanned and subsequently sunburned. At the end of this riveting tale, Amy puts her hand on the shoulder of Black friend #1 and says, “But you wouldn’t know anything about that,” in a very nonchalant afterthought kind of way. This isn’t that remarkable if you know Amy because she tends to say a lot of things without thinking first. Still, it caused me to roll my eyes and shoot Black Friend #1 a knowing glance.

I like to lay out in the sun. At the beach, poolside, in a park. The warmth of the sun feels so good on my skin. There’s also the metallic, bronze/gold coloring that brown people tend to get when they tan up. It’s gorgeous. Plus, tan lines can be sexy sometimes. In addition to all of that, to some degree I think I lay out to dispel stereotypes that Black folks don’t DO that. Still, I always apply sunscreen. I am conscious of the effects UV rays can have. I don’t want to look old before my time and I’d prefer not to have to deal with skin cancer and other ailments. There’s a price for beauty, but not all that!

Dress Barn

Honestly. Who shops there? WHO would purchase clothing from a BARN? Truly, I do not know what they sell in there nowadays. I haven’t set foot in the store in ages. The name itself, however, makes me think they specialize in Moo-Moos, big flowery shirts, embroidered sweaters and mom jeans. I cannot shop in the same place she shops:

When harassing Black folk goes wrong

Once again, the New York Police Department has gotten itself involved in some racial bullshit of the typical kind: messing over innocent Black folk. What the NYPD didn’t account for, however, was that on May 2, the negro they were messing with was the highest ranking (uniformed) Black officer in the city. AKA… the HNIC.

The details of the story have not yet been flushed out but the gist of things is that Cheif Douglas Ziegler was sitting in his department issued SUV when two white officers approached the car and confronted him. The remainder of the story comes from Newsday.com.

New Reality Show!

If you don’t already know, I ♥ reality television. It’s an addiction and I guess a respite from the mind-numbing work I do in law school. So, while this isn’t really a new reality show, it has all the elements of one: Stupid/Offensive premise, angry Black man (yeah DeMorge!), in your face corporate sponsor and a tension filled elimination ceremony. Tune in to My Black Friend, homeboy!!

Sunny Delight, my ass.

Yo. I hate Sunny Delight.

Sure, it’s got “healthy junk” (a la the classic rollerblade Sunny D commercial) in it, but I don’t care. Sunny D, as it likes to be called, tastes like a combination of orange juice and baby medicine. I remember one comedian commenting that the stuff tasted like clown ass. Fam, I couldn’t have said it better.

Sunny Delight originally contained less than 2% juice, with its main ingredients being water and corn syrup. Then, after they got into some shit for turning a girl orange over in England, the geniuses relaunched in 2003 as ‘Sunny D’ The new Sunny D claims to contain 5% fruit juice (including orange, tangerine, apple, lime and grapefruit), as well as Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid (Vitamin C), Beta-Carotene, Thiamin Hydrochloride (Vitamin B1), Natural Flavors, Food Starch-Modified, Canola Oil, Cellulose Gum, Xanthan Gum, Sodium Hexametaphosphate, Sodium Benzoate To Protect Flavor, Yellow #5, Yellow #6. YUMMY! News flash: just because you add a handful of vitamins to some canola oil doesn’t mean you can tout your beverage as the healthiest thing in the fridge.