Back to America/Almonds

Oh man. I’ve been flying like a crazy person. I’m so tired of traveling. Let’s see, I left Tokyo on May 1 and flew for 10 hours to Los Angeles. I’d like to point out that I lived for two Fridays. Yes. I traveled into the past. See I left Japan on Friday evening then arrived in California on Friday morning! Crazy, right?

The flight would have been great because I love Singapore Airlines but I was stuck next to the stinkiest man I’ve ever had the displeasure of meeting in life. LIFE! Ugh. I didn’t know what to do about it. I considered asking the flight attendant to talk to homeboy, see if he had a clean shirt in his carry-on or if he could go to the bathroom and splash some water on his pits. I consider myself a straight shooter but I didn’t realize how difficult it is to tell a stranger, a foreigner, that they stink to high fucking hell.

Like I said, normally flying on Singapore is great. They served two delicious meals, bring you all kinds of free liquor, give you slipper socks and a toothbrush… I even had significant leg room. Too bad Dr. Stankenstein was next to me. It wasn’t too bad once he sat still and quit stirring up the funk. I was literally covering my face. Speaking of face covering, this fool had the NERVE to put on one of those face masks that Japanese people (and surgeons and those afraid of Swine Flu) be rocking. Oh word? I’M the one who needs to be wearing a mask to guard against YOU! Ugh.

Anyway, I get to LAX where I have a 9 hour layover. With nothing to do and nowhere to go, I just chilled in the terminal from 1pm to 10pm. What did I do in all that time? Had lunch, had dinner. Read. Listened to iPod. Played with my Blackberry. Sat next to an NBA player who was waiting on a delayed Southwest Flight. That shit boggled my mind because recession be damned, I don’t know why homeboy is flying one of the cheapest airlines around AND waiting on that shit to boot!

Finally, I boarded a flight to Philly… 5 hours long. Soon I’ll be in a car for a 2hour drive. I can’t tell you how much I want to just sit still. My body hurts like I’ve been in a fight too.

I’m without computer for a little while so posts will be sparse. Before I go, let me tell you about these damn wasabi and soy sauce flavored almonds I’m eating right now. SERIOUS flavor! Maybe Japan had a bigger influence on me than I thought! Try them if you get a chance though. They’re Blue Diamond brand.

My Japan friends… please send me some Meiji chocolate almonds please. I swear I didn’t even like almonds until I tasted those wonderful things.


Filed under Routine Ramblings, travel, What kind of fuckery?

4 responses to “Back to America/Almonds

  1. It seems like you just left yesterday, wow… And, I can’t stand sitting next to someone who is foul when on a long flight, train ride, or bus ride… That really sucks… Good to see you made it back safely.

  2. Welcome back! I don’t know how you did it. I can bear sitting next to a stinky for a brief subway commute but not an international flight. I would have had to ask for another seat.

  3. Dr. Stankenstein

    I must say, I’m quite taken aback by your arrogance and quickness to insult. My dear, do you not realize that all cultures do not find the same fragrances pleasant? Your spring-time fresh/shower soap/laundry detergent odor would be considered offensive amongst my peers, and would garner you jeers and bowls of lukewarm stew tossed about your head. Why do you think I wore the mask? It wasn’t to protect myself from Swine Flu; It was to protect myself from swine you!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s