RHoATL, s2e4: such a happy family

Lisa's gym face

Last week left me wanting for some serious wig snatching and not that tease of a tug Sheree gave Kim. Thankfully, the episode was saved by Dwight’s fabulous party and boob inspections. Bravo, don’t fail me now!

Question: Is it necessary for Lisa to work out in a full face of makeup and that hair all down her back? I know when I’m up in the gym (or when I WAS up in the gym), I didn’t have time for all of that. Mascara all sweating down into my eyes and that hair is like having a heater on the back of your neck. Hmph. Yeah, it’s television but I thought Lisa went hard on her workouts.

I know this is not the nicest thing to say, but Kim’s children are terribly boring. I don’t want to see them ever again on this show. Especially when I’m subjected to scenes where two adults and two children cannot come together and figure out whether “sightseeing” is an adjective or a verb (FYI, it’s a verb). After acting like dictionaries don’t exist, the nanny tells Kim’s daughter that she’s going to hell for rapping her prayer (you can’t make this stuff up). Nanny’s job wasn’t in too much jeopardy at that point, though, because we know Kim is the queen of empty threats. Just like she says one tihng to Nene and Sheree and never follows up on it. Kim could’ve axed the nanny right then and there and she probably should have because a little later, Kim got the heads up that the nanny had left the kids home alone to make a tampon run. Damn.
Question: why does Kim need a nanny? She doesn’t work, right? How come she can’t raise her kids?

Kandi attempted to get her family together for a photo shoot, a la the Sears Portrait Studio. You know, the ones where everyone is dressed alike? Wheretheydothatat? That’s still in style? No, it’s not. Kandi is just bass ackwards but we knew that when she signed up to marry some dude with 6 kids and 4 different mothers (and you’ve only known him for 8 months)? Who is she trying to convince with her “we are a happy family” spiel? I think she might say it 3 times an episode, every episode. We don’t believe you, boo. I know her momma doesn’t believe one single bit of it the way she removed herself from the “family” picture.

I like Nene but I can’t shake the feeling that she is being underhanded and sneaky on purpose. Why in the world would she plan on inviting EVERYONE to the same place? Kim, Sheree, Lisa, Nene (and Dwight) all going to view the King Tut exhibit. When Dwight smartly points out that drama is sure to ensue, Nene assured him that since their kids would be there, folks would behave themselves. Um, didn’t we learn from last season that these women do not care about showing out in front of their seeds?! Speaking of Dwight, word on the street is that he has a new love interest but we didn’t find out who. I had heard around the web earlier in the year that Dwight was married to a woman but I’m hoping with all my heart that was a publicity stunt. I don’t like him whoring for publicity like that.

Kim was being all scaredy cat again about meeting up with the whole Housewives crew. Homegirl was so nervous she had to down several glasses of white wine AND shots of Goldschlager. Sheesh! I understand being concerned about your safety. She DID get accosted on the street by a crazy looking Sheree but looka here Kimberly… you cannot talk smack behind people’s backs and expect them to just let it roll off their backs. Especially not these crazy heifers. When Kandi arrives, she tries to make an ally out of her, drawing on their mutual “friendship” with Dallas Austin.They had quite the vonversation about Kim’s upcoming album which sounded positive, but the blogs and web is buzzing with Kandi talking crap about Kim’s vocal “ability”. I think this is the first time we had all of the housewives (plus Dwight) in the same room all season. I loved it. Shade was being thrown every which-a-way! Thanks Bravo! Surprisingly enough, there were no huge blowouts but I nearly threw the remote at the television when Kim though to compare herself with ancient Egyptian nobility who wore wigs. Yaki be gone!

Why isn’t Dwight included on the promotional materials for this show? He IS the 6th housewife! I don’t know why Lisa and Nene thought it’d be a good idea to send Sheree and Dwight on speeddates but LMAO at everyone Dwight meets being an event planner. That’s the new ambiguous career I guess.

On a serious note, Lisa was dealing with some family stuff. While she did get to take Nene out to the West side to meet her fam and celebrate her grandmom’s 92nd birthday, she had to confront the reality of her brother’s death. I agree that Lisa needs to get some closure and completely mourn his passing, but I don’t always think that comes in the form of visiting the grave site. I have never visited my grandmother’s site but I grieve differently than most people.

We have to wait until next week to see the entire LA trip but it promises to be dramatic. I loved seeing Kim go to the salon to get her wig trimmed and I hope we can see more of her hair antics. I feel bad for the stylist though because now he has been outed as the person responsible for her dreadful hairstyle.

Quotes of the episode: “I love having no makeup on” – Kim (yeah right) “I think my titties gettin’ bigger.” – Nene