Well, a lot of things are fucking with my sex life, but that’s not important right now.
With our nation’s financial future in question and the price of regular stuff like cheese skyrocketing (Cracker Barrel Vermont White Cheddar, why must you rape my pockets?), I’ve decided to cut back on spending. Well, as soon as I made that decision, I spotted a sweater that I’m drooling after and a piece of furniture that I’m lusting for. “Lusting” being the key word.
Although I have no space in my wallet, nor my shoebox apartment for this piece, I think I need the Tantra Chair. The thing looks more like some pretentious chaise lounger than a giant sex seat. According to the chair’s site:
The gentle arc design cradles your body and provides a support system that enables you to comfortably sustain a wide variety of new and exciting sexual positions. In most of the positions, the female has a great amount of control over the depth and angles during intimacy.
You will find that there is a feeling of weightlessness when making love in the Tantra Chair. Because your entire body will be supported, you will not feel the weight of your partner. This aspect opens up a tremendous amount of possibilities as your focus shifts away from your bodies and more into the sensual experience.
See how far you can take this baby
You have got to check out all of the positions you can manage on this thing. Peep the NSFW Position Guide.
Think about it, you can use the Tantra Chair for more than just sex. Having a party? Extra seating! Got a cat? Well you know they always like new stuff to lay on. Are you literate? (you’re reading this, so…) Well, I bet it’s a cozy place to read a good murder mystery. Don’t get all “ew” on me now. You screw on your bed and don’t mind eating popcorn and watching Sex In The City there.
The chair is customizable and comes in color choices of Coffee, Sunflower, Linen, Ebony, Pistachio, and Cinnabar. It’s made from UltraLeather which is stain-free, anti-microbal and easy to clean while still feeling buttery soft. Sweet! Added bonus: If you’re trying to bed a boho, just tell him/her that UltraLeather is a GREEN fabric and part of the chair’s $1200 price tag goes to environmental organizations!
Yeah. $1200. Oh well. Guess I’ll have to just strategically stack up some couch cushions and hope for a similar effect.