Never show your hand?

A guy friend of mine told me not too long ago that it was a bad idea to let a man know that you’re feeling him. I told him that was the stupidest thing I had ever heard. Why play games? We are adults and if adults like each other they should say so. I thought people hated it when women played games. Now here I was being advised to play my hand close and hide how I really feel. Huh?

Today on the Mike & Juliet Show some “relationship expert” was saying the same thing. He said that a woman shouldn’t approach a man and discuss their relationship… EVER. He said it makes you look weak. The man will know he already won and will no longer want you. He said that all you need to do is look to a man’s actions to determine how he feels about you. Well I don’t know about that. Lack of words and lack of action can make you go crazy. Why can’t you just straight up ask what’s going on without coming off like a clingy broad? Ugh! That is so frustrating!

This is why I balk when people say that women are crazy in relationships. I say men are crazy because they’re setting all these rules – rules designed for them to have their cake and eat it too without ever having to lay down their cards. People say they want honesty when it comes to relationships but they’re lying, I guess. If you’re honest, you’re likely going to get hung out to dry and find yourself by yourself. If you lie and play games, you’re good to go. Nice and cozy in a relationship built on bullshit. Lose-lose.

What do you think?


Filed under relationships, What kind of fuckery?

7 responses to “Never show your hand?

  1. Me

    I agree with you wholeheartedly. Relationships are lose lose since both men and women are crazy.

  2. GoodatLife

    you gotta play the game. It’s like a poker game. It’s fine to be open and discuss things, but only after some time. Nothing is worse than a woman who “over plays her hand.” Kind of like a bluff in poker, and ya I’m going to call it. By over play her hand I mean someone who you’ve gone out with like once or twice a week for about 3 weeks. Then all of a sudden she (or he, cuz guys do this too) want to know “what are we”? What are we?!?! well we ain’t nothing no more! Didn’t even give it a chance to be something. If someone is into you, you’ll know it. Strike that, If I’m into you, you’ll know it. So don’t ask me no questions!

  3. Rachel

    “If someone is into you, you’ll know it.”

    I completely agree. I think a person should use her best judgment and not let her expectations and feelings cloud that. Now by judgment I mean, keep your damn mouth shut until you know where you stand…just be patient and wait for the signs. Don’t ask them about making it official. Don’t get mad at them when they get on the phone with some chick you don’t know. Don’t ask to meet his family. If he’s worth it, you can wait. And if you’re worth it, always feel free to withhold sex when he’s acting up!

  4. Holly GoLightly

    I hate playing games but I think it depends on the situation and what type of vibes you are getting from the other party, how long u guys have been hanging out/going on dates, and how comfortable you feel with that person. I will agree to not be the first to initiate the status conversation… let him!! But I definitely think you should put it out there if you are feeling him…. what’s the harm in that?

  5. relationships are a risk. if you don’t give you might not receive, suppose men were to take that same advice, then you’d have two people in a relationship neither putting forth the effort to display their feelings…… does that progress or grow?

  6. kia

    wow good one. i want to say i’m a women and tell him how you feel, but it depends on what you want out of the relationship. for me though it’s that i’m getting older, i would just tell him … if he’s down good, not? bounce! it hurts to lose someone you love cuz yall playing funny communication games.

  7. If you like somebody? LET THEM KNOW.
    Both before dealing with them and while dealing with them.

    That’s how I’m looking at it now…

    And if they can’t process that or reciprocate via either words or actions, then you prolly don’t need to be dealing with them.

    Honesty has been, currently is, and always will be the best policy.

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